The problem is that I’m scared

I’m having a baby shower! Please visit:

http://www.webbabyshower.com/mullen/

Here it is, 6:23 a.m. I woke up at 6, started thinking about this C-section, and haven’t been able to go back to sleep. And as my title states… I’m scared… terrified might be a better word, of having surgery. I’ve been through this before, and I GUESS it was okay, but I don’t KNOW this doctor, I don’t KNOW the nurses, I don’t know the hospital, and so far, I haven’t been treated all that great. It doesn’t make me feel wonderful about entrusting my life in the hands of people that so far have made me feel terrible. I can’t even helping crying right now as I’m thinking about it. Of course, writing it down makes it more real, more clarified.
I can’t imagine the scar rupturing, but then, I CAN. The number of women that have complications during a VBAC is 1 in 1000. According to the doctor (but that seems to jibe with what I’ve read.)

Oh… I just did a search on it, and I wish I hadn’t. Almost ALL the articles I read are actually against doing repeat C-sections, and the main problem with VBACs is in administering Picotin or other forms of labor inducing drugs. Funny, because my doctor at Kaiser said if I hadn’t delivered within a week of my due date, then they WOULD have to do a C-section, because they could not induce me as it might rupture the scar. Now I REALLY want to go back to Kaiser. The thing is, the risks to ME go up significantly with a C-section, and as with Shabree, it makes it harder to breastfeed…
I really, and truly, don’t want to do this. Maybe I’m being unreasonable, and it WILL be my last pregnancy, if he does the tubal ligation… I don’t look forward to having yet another scar.

I don’t know. Maybe I should go back to bed. I will have to really talk it over with Jerry. I’m SO not comfortable with any of this. I want to do another VBAC, NOT a C-section. I just feel better about it. What do you do when a doctor doesn’t even give you a choice? Especially at this stage of the pregnancy? I am sure I will shed a lot of tears over this.

Greywolf Borealis

April 26, 2008

My niece had three. Be well, myfriend.

Mandy Mom

ryn: Personally speaking, and I am not trying to offend you, but I do not believe God would lead you to write/preach anything contradictory to His Word. I do know the devil has the capability to make us believe his word is God’s word (as I was once in a cult, but now am able to see the difference between God’s voice and the devil’s). You can read the bible @ biblegateway.com. Also,>>

>> you might enjoy Lee Strobel’s books. He was an atheist whose wife became Christian so he set out to disprove the bible and Christianity as whole and became a believer. He has several books (Like “The Case for Christ”, “The Case for Faith”, and The Case for the Creator”.) His site, leestrobel.com has great info too. As I have said before, I wholeheartedly reject anything that goes against>>

>> The Bible. Just as you feel you are ridiculed and looked down upon for writing/thinking as you do, I often feel the same for sticking up for the intregrity of the Word. I believe God has protected His word throughout time, & it is something that will stand. Reading Lee Strobels books (he really goes in depth to try to disprove them, thereby proving their authenticity) strengthening my faith.

Wanted to comment on your entry as well: Hopefully, all will go fine. It seems, when we research something on the internet, we find all the bad stories, and few of the great stories. However, I found MANY women who had successful unassisted VBAC births, which was encouraging to me (although I have never had a C-section). I know you’re not having an unassisted birth, but maybe look into them>>

>>just to read the encouraging stories of women who had previous c-sections but had beautiful, wonderful, God-glorifying births.

Iget2bme

Hugs for my pal…

RYN: Not sure I want to read more repulsican propaganda. Also I can’t leave my email address in a public note. Be well, friend.