No time

I finally have a minute alone.  I can’t believe it.  Jerry took all the girls to the park.  He was pretty mad at me though, because I asked who wanted to take Sammi to the park, and he told me *I* must want to take her.  I don’t LIKE going to the park.  There is nothing for me to do at the park, since you have to keep an eye on the girls so someone doesn’t snatch them, or if something happens, you’re there.  I can’t really play on the equipment, I am too heavy, too tall, and get too out of breath.  I can’t really even take a book, it gets so bright out there, and park benches are NOT comfortable, and in Galt where we used to live, the covered tables were FAR away from the play equipment… so I dislike going to the park, for MANY reasons.   Anyway, I kind of had a fit about it… I kind of yelled, Yea, why should I get a moment alone?  Why shouldn’t I have the kids all the time?   See, it really pisses me off.  Jerry pretty much refuses to take all the girls.  He always leaves Sammi with me.  But *I* have to take her to the same places he goes.  So I am never without at least one child.  I rarely get a break from all of them.  God forbid HE should take Sammi anywhere and perhaps give me a break.  So yes, I was pissed, and I reacted inappropriately, and he took her to the park, and was pissed at me as he left.  So here I am by myself, though our house guest Rick keeps bugging me, and I wish he’d stop. 

My scrap room is a complete mess…what else is new, right?  But it’s beyond bad right now.  I can’t even work at the table because of all the junk.  I kind of freeze up when I go in there, too, because I have NO idea where to begin.  It’s overwhelming me.  Well, it never does help that I’m tired practically all the time, and the floor has so much little junk on it that I can’t have the baby in there for fear she’ll choke on something.  But I feel like I’ve GOT to go in there and try to clean it up… start somewhere.  I just can’t stay at it at all, because of all my mom duties.  Not to mention wife duties.  God, Jerry gets SO mad at me when I go in there after we put the kids to bed.  Which is practically the only time I get any time to myself during the day.  HE thinks I’m ignoring him. 

I gotta stop bitching.  I’m going to post and go do something about my scrap room