Feeling better

Well, I went to sleep at about 11 last night, right after I wrote my entry.  I was woken up at around 2:30, by Jerry and his snoring.  I tried to get him to roll over, but he snored so loud it woke me up to where I knew I couldn’t go back to sleep, and if I laid there and sighed, he’d just get upset with me.  So I left the room, got myself a banana, wandered around a bit, then sat on one of the couches and just cried, cause I knew I needed my sleep.  Paula tried to comfort me… she seemed SO worried about me.  She jumped up on me, which actually was fine, she wasn’t hurting anything, but she must have sensed something, because she jumped back down.  I finally went to the other couch, grabbed a small blanket that barely covers me, and fell asleep, but I must have been up for an hour.  At about 10 munutes to 7, Shabree starts saying VERY loudly in a sing song kind of voice  "mommy, daddy, it’s MORNING time.  WAKE UP!"  She’d warned me last night she was going to do this, so I wasn’t terribly surprised, or mad.  The girls got up, got themselves off to school, and Shabree went to watch tv, so I went back to bed in my bed… woke up around 9:30, went and watched tv with Shabree for a bit, then came back upstairs, cause she wanted to watch Elmo in Grouchland on the DVD player, so I slept from maybe 11:15 to 12:30.  So all in all, I have no idea how much sleep I got, but it feels like enough.  Although I’m still yawning.  But I don’t feel depressed, and I’m not sick, though I’m realizing I need to take advantage of that during the day, because at night, I feel sick again. 
I think it best if I don’t go back to the Expecting boards.  I just tend to think that perhaps they’re upsetting me a little too much for my own good.  I’ve managed to work through most of the damage my mother did, and I think it best to just let it go, stop rehashing it in my mind.  Unless there’s something to be learned from it, and if there is, I don’t know what it is… just seems like an EXCELLENT way to make myself miserable, you know?  I’ve always so enjoyed making myself miserable, but I realized a long time ago that it really wasn’t getting me anywhere productive. 
But we’ll have to see how I am tonight.  I’ve always been worse at night, probably from being tired.  I am one of those people who needs to set myself a schedule, but I hate them, so I never live by them… but I’d probably be better off if I did.

Well, I think that’s enough of that for one day.  I really need to extract myself from the computer and get this swap done.  It’s not due til April 30th, but I have a few due then, so I’d really like to have it done before it’s due.