Back from Joann’s

Well, not MUCH that’s new, sad to say.  I picked up the Spring Stack, some emebllishments, the Spring rub ons (that’s what I used my coupon for, which seems lame, but there wasn’t a whole lot that I wanted) OH, and BAZZILL was 50% off, YES!!!!  I wish they’d had more of a selection, but I got some purple, red, blue and pink in 8×11 for the printer and 12×12 for the books.  I ended up spending about 60 bucks…not too bad, really.  I usually walk in and drop at least 100, but I’m TRYING not to buy too much that just gets added to the stash (yea, right, ha ha.  I admit it.  I’m ADDICTED to scrapbooking, but I’m MORE addicted to BUYING scrapbooking supplies!)  I’ve got some swaps I desperately need to start in on, and I NEED to STOP signing up for swaps!!!!!!!  But as my energy and ambition return, so does my need to do something scrapbook related.  So tonight just may be a night to drag everything downstairs and sit at the table til I’m exhuasted, and just work on swap stuff and my actual book, and maybe I’ll do something for Make a Wish too. 

Okay, enough about my little addiction, lol ;).  I don’t talk about it much, because I figure it’ll BORE the bejeesus out of most people, though people who are into at all can relate :).
 
I ended up taking Bec and Syd with me, and oh good lord, they drove me NUTS.  Well, actually, it’s mostly Sydni.  She TALKS.  And talks.  And talks.  And does it relate to anything?  No.  Is it important?  No.  Could she possibly go more than five minutes WITHOUT talking?  NO!  Sigh… I love her… I love her so dearly.  I finally just had to say, Sydni, I love you.  I don’t want to hurt your feelings.  You talk too much.  You talk just to hear the sound of your own voice.  You need to think about what you’re going to say before you say it, and ask yourself, is this important?  Does this add anything to the conversation?  Or am I just talking to hear my own voice?  I told her, I’m really trying not to hurt your feelings (and I said it in the most even tone I could… not all exasperated, not upset)  And then I told her again that I love her.  I think she’s just at THAT AGE.  Although, what you have to understand with Sydni, is that she’s BEEN at that age since she was 2 and learned to talk.  Sydni could always talk very well, you could hold a conversation with her since a young age, and you could understand her SO clearly.  But she’s just one of those kids, once she learned how to talk, she never SHUT UP!!!  It’s a joke amongst us that know her (one we mostly keep to ourselves)  She’s an absurdly charming little girl, but it’s starting to be one of those things she needs to learn how to control.  She’s following in Becca’s footsteps in being the bossy older sister, and she ALWAYS has something to add to any, and all, conversations.  Can you tell she’s really on my nerves with this?  Okay, I MUST LOL at it, because half the time, it IS so absurd.  But really, how do you tell a sensitive little girl that she just needs to be quiet and listen for once?  And that she DOES NOT need to be the center of attention all the time?  Becca, she was pretty easy, she’s got TOUGH skin for the most part.  You simply say "Becca" and she goes "Sorry" and shuts up.  Sometimes it’s too funny.  But I was able to TELL Bec this stuff, and in no way was it going to hurt her feelings.  She just took it in stride.  Syd though… she really is the sensitive kid of the bunch.  Shabree is somewhere in between.  She’s tough, but she’s turning into a right little hypochondriac, lol, and when the girls get to playing too rough (Bec mostly, which is why I think she wants a brother, he won’t mind being beat on), Bec is always the one who gets blamed for hurting the other two, and they come crying to me, and I’m just like, well, STOP playing so ROUGH!   Which of course, they respond to by quickly stopping crying, and going back for more punishment!  Okay… WHATEVER… I’m NOT a very sympathetic person to any of this.  I should be, with my own very sensitive history, though you know, I got to a point where I got SO tired of being sensitive, and being hurt by every little thing, that I started toughening up, and once you get yourself to that point, you KIND OF expect others to be that way too… that’s why Jerry and I work pretty well together, we’re both VERY sensitive, emotional individuals, raised by emotional moms, but we just REFUSE to give into our emotions, but then, we aren’t closed off either-don’t put either of us in a Vietnam movie, we both leave crying, What Dreams May Come leaves both of us crying.  I’m serious too…BOTH of us…. both our dads were in Vietnam, and it’s funny the repercussions that left on us.  When we went to see We Were Soldiers, as we were leaving, I told him, "You’re lucky, you have sunglasses to hide YOUR tears!"  We both see the pain our fathers hold back from having been in vietnam…. for my dad, it’s left him emotionally and physically disabled for years.   You don’t get by unscathed when your parent is an emotional wreck, but I loved my dad with all my heart, and he helped me survive my mom.   However, he did his share of hurting my (very senstivie at the time) feelings as well, once I got to be an older teenager/young adult.
Anyway, I digress (as usual, lol)  I’m sure Sydni will learn as she gets older, and be a little more judicious in what she chooses to talk about.  And I will GENTLY, work on her, too.  I really want her to start thinking about what she says, because a lot of times, she’ll say "Sarah?" or "Daddy?"  We say what, and it takes her 5 minutes to get out what she wanted to say… and by that time, we’ve lost interest AND patience.   She does the same thing at school, and I think it’s safe to say, she drives us ALL nuts with that.  So we’ve been telling her to think about what she wants to say, THEN say our names, and say her piece.  It’s working to a certain extent. 

Well, I suppose I myself am at that point that if I say too much more, I’ll be rambling yet again, so think I’ll stop for now, and go find something… I don’t know… productive? to do?  LOL!  You know, I LOVE being a stay at home mom, but wow, have I become someone who needs to get a life.  Or something!  I won’t tell Jerry that, because he’ll have HIS ideas on what I should do, and frankly… his ideas don’t match up to my ideas.  Not in a million years.  Bless him, he thinks EVERY minute of EVERY day should be filled doing something productive, and I just don’t share that particular philosophy of life 🙂   I’m kind of happy being a little lazy and taking life as it comes.  Okay, not that I REALLY wanted to admit THAT out loud either!   No, I’m getting to a point where I need to be a little less lazy, and a little more produtive feeling, but I need to figure out what I would enjoy doing, and what would keep me able to be around the kids, as they’re number one priority… and they need me.  This pregnancy is getting to me.  For sure.

Okay…ending now!!!!  really.  truly.

Bye
😉