sad news

today is a sad day as i know od is going to be closed down next week. it is pretty sad for me, especially when i am feeling sick these days, and this news seem to make me feel more sick.

i’ve just downloaded my old entries here in od and i was surprised to find that i had over 600 entries here and the first piece of entry dated on 2001 which is over 10 years from now, it is really a long time ago. thought i didn’t update my entries very often, i do miss this private place, a place for me to write freely to express my deep feelings and secrets.

while i am downloading my entries, i take a look at what i wrote. i was surprised that i didn’t recognize my own writing. did i really think that way before? did i really use those words that i no longer use now to express myself? i really had no ideas. but those past entries are true, they should be written by me. when i am reading them, i am amazed to find out the past me including the way i think and the words i use, and i am so amazed to find out my notes too. i didn’t remember who left me notes before but when i am reading the notes, i am really happy and grateful for those who leave me notes before. they left me very good comments and they showed their concern to  me. i am so grateful for them. if i have a chance to connect to them, i would like to say thank you to each of them. thanks for being with me when i am here alone on the net. thanks for showing your concern and reading my entries. i am really happy to have someone to share my entries and feelings. 

however, od is going to close and there will be no turning back. it is really a sad news to me. i don’t know where i can turn to when i want to share my feelings. i don’t know what i should do and who i can trust. i will miss this place very much and i will miss those who connect with me here before. od is not only a place to write entries but also a place to record my growth over the past 10 years during which i can see my precious friends and i have my memorable experience. thanks sai, wendy, cindy, henry and all the angels who left me notes before… i don’t know if you are still writing in od or not, but i would like to thank all of you. i’ll miss you all and i will not forget the moments we were together until forever.