they will never take this dream from me

im in love with a boy who is halfway across the country,  i havent had the chance to fall IN love with this darling young man, but i know for a fact that we would be violently deep when the time arrives. i am not even sure as to wether or not he still reads this. or if anyone does for that matter. i used to write for others, no, it was mine. ugh side tracked, not much sleep lately. my mind races all the time. even when i sleep.

i am now realising why i do not own a computer, i am physically getting sick from looking at this bright screen. the spins, from a laptop. kind of makes me laugh. but about that boy, that boy that makes my heart twist and churn, my bones shake and my nerve endings expand. we were brought together by chance, but i have learned that chance is more than just that, it has purpose. and he shifted my life and fueled that fire in my belly all those years ago. with the distance and time between us, i am slipping from him. and i have never felt such a gut wrenching desire to be so near to someone. i do not know what else i can do.maybe just pull at him with all my heart and soul. the brainwaves and spirit guides can aid us somehow right? i just wish he could feel this ache in my chest, this deep longing to finally look into those dark eyes that saved me. " when the time is right =)" he says witha a smile. i know he is right. im not ready yet.

by this summer i will hqave perfected my soul, body, and mind, i will be true clean and pure. ready, bow in hand, heart on sleeve.

wish me well.

im southern bound