my integrity

is holding up with me lately.

woo! and i have been doing daring things. good things i promise.

and oh, tonight is supposed to be the night. to test that time barrier. see if things have really evolved. and if they will press deeper. delve further. if it does, wavelengths and riveting motions. INTENSEE so i deem, but i also tend to put my head in the clouds and my heart on my sleeve.

i remember being in his basement the night of his birthday, we had known eachother for three years at that point. and my eyes were on fire. he introduced me to those i did not know. and told me that we could make out with anyone we like… and there was a pause, where we just stared at eachother. i bit my lip. the party progressed, i had amazing conversations, met new people, got to know depth of some i already knew. i guess i just waited to long to act, cause when i picked up my head… this song broke over me like a storm. there he was on the floor, making out with Dee, a boy. my insides shattered. but i just swayed and shifted, motions to these chords. then this 13 year old girl crawled on him before i could exhale, and that was it. they started dating, and two days later he told me… "i dont know what the fuck i was thinking. she tries so hard to impress me all the time, with stupid annoying shit." for instance, the morning after they went to a chinese restaurant and she ate a shitload of wasabi cause she said she could handle it, they had to leave cause she was gagging and crying. haha. needless to say they broke up that day.

when it should have been me so many times.

random flashback. that was three years ago. we all have grown up a bit. anyway,

i swear this song changed my life that night.

You move like I want to
To see like your eyes do
We are downstairs where
No one can see
New life breakaway
Tonight I feel like more
Tonight I
You make the water warm
You taste foreign
And I know you can see
The cord breakaway
Cause tonight I feel like more
Tonight I feel like more
Feel like more
You breathed
Then you stopped
I breathed then dried you off
And tonight
I feel like more
Tonight