twist and turn

its true the whiskey has helped to wash you away.

the administration makes me sick. dropping the two best teachers that school has seen in quite some time, and for what? budget cuts. ridiculous. im going to miss them ever so much, for they both played such a significant role in my high school years. i almost broke into tears today, my stomach was twisted up and i couldnt breathe. miss N will still be teaching till year end, but nonetheless, it really made me think. i never got the chance to do all the things iwanted to do, spend time with the people i want/wanted to. its silly petty stuff that i cant even mention. but im just so terribly upset. all of this came crashing down, but she still managed to smile and laugh about it… which made the situation lighter, knowing that she wasnt as turned over about it as i had anticipated. im sure it still hurts. not fair. by any means. regardless.i just wished today for some reason that she would remeber me, i dont know why i care or wished so deeply that she would. cause i know she wont. but ill remember her. silly silly stuff. following that, iwatched bowling for columbine, i love that movie, but i hate watching it in school. because i get my brain reeling with all these ideas that branched off a concept that branched off an image, and before you know it, im flying away with myself. and i get angry at the kids walking down the halls. complaining about eachother, nagging, whining, yelling, worrying about what so and so is wearing, gossip, la la la its just so absurd, and they are all so consumed in it, without the slightest thought of anything else in the world, cause its not in theirs. everyone has put up a bubble around themselves, just cause its nice and feels safe. but thats not getting anything done.i dont even know what pount i am trying to get across, or if i am trying to get a point across at all.

youth-machine.

gut-wrenching. it ends somewhere down the line. yesterday christina and i picked up a wisher {those weeds with the seeds and flyer things on them} and we both wished for world peace and blew as hard as we could on the count of three. and sure enough there were still seeds left. no wish come true. we didnt think it through i guess. wish wasted. so today we wished to meet some new intellects. and all the seed kites fleww away. so its in our favor i suppose.

i cant wait.

this saturday night… is supposed to be like old times , but with new twists. courtney loving. boos. stoges. and um. you know. haha. some fleshy fun. perhaps. haha. hhippie fairy uh-huh. thats what i was deemed last spring.

brain waves that kill. when we mesh personal electricity. conversation flows like wine.

we cut fold paste particles. devine. la la la

love.love