dilemas dilemas

Dilema dilema

TOday I have a dilema. hmmm. I felt within my spirit the call to consecrate. I need to let go and be delivered of a couple of strongholds in my life. One obviously being my addiction to food lol. The last time I successfully fasted was like back in July and before then was in August of last year. That is HORRIBLE! I am a person that normally LOVES to consecrate and empty myself of fleshly desires and focus on spiritual desires. But lately I have been horrified of fasting. Planning my days around food and different areas of life and scheduling and such. They can tend to become hinderances yanno. So last night after leaving prayer service I still had a few questions on my heart some about this house and why the owner hasn’t contacted us yet after being soooo enthusiastic about us moving in,  and also about my weight coming down and lately avoiding every mirror I pass because of my lack of confidence and the fact that I keep Gaining weight even though I’m exercising. I’m pretty much being stubborn about the food journaling because I just can’t see myself journaling every morsel that I eat for the rest of my life. SO I know that may be a reason that alot of weight isn’t coming off but come on GAINING wieght?!?! I could atleast see maintaining weight because the walking balances it out but GAINING. No way!

Well those were some questions on my heart and after I left church I tuned in to the christian radio station and Tony Evans was ministering about letting go of strongholds and being released from certain bondages and addictions and he posed the question: " when was the last time you fasted?" it is written all throughout the bible that fasting releases the yoke of bondage when done properly.  Then he gave scripture examples in Isaish 58:6  then he skipped over to Romans and talking about’s saying, ‘When I am weak, then am I strong’. your strongest spiritual moments are at the peak of your weakest carnal points. God’s Glory cannot dwell in Flesh! He is Holy and the only way that he can move is in holiness. THe bible says holiness without NO man can see God,  and that all sin is unrighteousness.  So when was the last time that you FASTED to be delivered or to receive divine instruction and then he went to Isaiah and hit home with this one, talking about the result of fasting:

Isaiah 58:8,11 Then will your light break forth like the dawning of the sun and you will quickly be healed, your honesty will protect you as you advance,  and the glory of the Lord wil defend you from behind. 11. The Lord will always guide you and provide good things to eat when you are in the desert. He will make you healthy. You will be like a garden that has plenty of water,  or like a stream that never runs dry. (CEV version)

So the light bulb went off. I need to fast. As terrifying as it seemed to think about I’m doing it. I went walking this morning and I didn’t eat breakfast or drink any coffee I almost fell asleep driving to work this morning.  But I’m cool.

Then I get a call from one of my sisters that her divorce is final and we’re supposed to be going out for non alcoholc drinks or do something else fun tonight at like bw3’s or something to celebrate. Well I really do want to go with her because she has been through HELL literally for the past 2 years trying to divorce her cheating ex husband because he refused to sign the paper work so herein is my dilema. But I think I may have a solution I think I will do complete until 3 o’clock and then resume with LIGHT foods and drink after 3 Pm. I originally intended to do an all day complete fast but I don’t think that would work because for Lexy’s birthday I need to take her out to eat and I am NOT going to watch everyone else eat on my dime lol.   

haven’t had any baby daddy drama today so that’s cool but other than that I’m here

~He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.~

Proverbs 25:28

‘I grew up penecostal and I now attend an apostolic church, but I have long ago taken off the denominational boundaries. I’m sick of religion and tradition. I’m more concerned about relationship with God through Jesus Christ.’

~me