Pouring out my heart unto you Lord *e*

Current song in my heart that I have playing on my cd player

I need More by Shekinah Glory

I need more of you

I need more of you

Whatever I need to do

To get to you

I’ll do

That’s it. It’s a medley and I’m almost in tears meditating and listening to it.

Dear Daddy,

I consider and proclaim myself to be a God Chaser. Yes I have my faults and yes I have my moments of pity but I thank you for your love. I thank you for seeing into my heart and allowing me to see what you see when you look at me. I can only view the mirror of my heart when I’m in your presence. Only when I dwell in your secret place and abide under your shadows  am I able to see all of the things that I am NOT and receive divine instruction on how to fix it. Only one supreme being can reveal that to me and that supreme being is you oh God. I thank you for the ability to shut out the world,  to shut out faces and voices and people and influences and only focus on you. I just want to be more like you. You are everything to me. And the feeling that I get when I connect with your holy spirit cannot be compared. I long for that feeling when I’m in weary places, when I’m distraught, when I’m happy,  when I want to celebrate. In everything I do I want-no I Need more of you. And whatever I need to do to get to you I’ll do. I’ll use extreme obedience. Even when it hurts, even when it causes those closest to me to leave me hanging I’ll use extreme obedience. Even when people murmur amongst themselves about me I don’t care because I want to be close to your heart. I want my worship to grab your face like a child does a parent and draw your attention to me. That you hear my cry and answer my questions. Like a child would. It is my desire that you hold me when I’m lonely and that you assure me that everything is going to be okay. Sometimes I just need that God. Sometimes when life is kicking my butt and I feel like I’m drowning I need to see that light that you bring. I need to see the city if the Lord sitting on a hill. Shining down on my face. I thank you for the chasing Game and it is my desire to catch you one day. To capture your attention and pull upon the strings of YOUR heart and cause you to smile when you see the genuine nature of my heart. Lord that is what I need. I Need YOU.

Love you,

Nikki

*****Edit**** Thank you all for the encouraging notes. I do know that I’ve caught God’s attention but my heart will constantly pant after his presence and Glory. I don’t want to become satisfied or too comfortable that I’ve got him because I want more of him. A constant pursuit for his glory and presence to be revealed is what I mean when I say I chase God. I want to go from faith to faith and Glory to Glory with higher hieghts and deeper levels of worship that is what I meant with this entry. It’s a heart cry for more of God in my life.

~He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.~

Proverbs 25:28

‘I grew up penecostal and I now attend an apostolic church, but I have long ago taken off the denominational boundaries. I’m sick of religion and tradition. I’m more concerned about relationship with God through Jesus Christ.’

~me