blahhh dee daa Wednesdays

Today is a blah dee daa wednesday. I always rejoice within my spirit because this is the Lord’s day as they all belong to him,  but naturally I am blah.

Definitely not bored by far as a matter of fact I’m back to running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off. I HAD to receive direction from coworker on a certain issue and he just has a way of making simple fixes seem so complicated and complicated fixes seem absolutely impossible Grrr.

I really like the field that I’m in but the more that I go through minor training with him it reminds me of exactly how much I DON"T know or remember from school. I know that I can do all things through CHrist that strengthens me but I need some common knowledge about the job at hand and sometimes I feel so stupid when I work on an issue for 3 days to come to the conclusion that I just can’t fix it and then he comes around and works his majic and it’s working like clockwork. I really need to take classes or something to get me up on my game but I don’t ever have TIME. And to be perfectly honest I don’t want to go back to school. I was so relieved when I got me degree that I vowed to not go back for a LONNNGGG time and mentally I’m not prepared to take on another class or anything. I’ve been rethinking my career choices. But in my heart of hearts I really do want to continue in this field,  with the potential of making good money and being able to relax a little. Those are the comforts of this job,  No one is over my shoulder (besides coworker from time to time) trying to micromanage me,  My hours are perfect and it’s not really strict at all,  I have freedom to make decisions as well as network with others in this industry because I am the only support here for this whole plant along with a few others. Sometimes I just don’t feel knowledgeable enough. Yeah granted coworker has been with this company 18 years,  he just got his masters in IT he is an MSCE, A+ certified, EMS certified technician. I feel like people around here talk about me and how I don’t know what I’m doing just because I’m being measured against coworker yanno? Like sometimes he has to negotiate service contracts and such things for me because I don’t know the history of the company and what’s acceptable to negotiate or not. There are department heads here that are trying to take advantage of my ignorance to the companies history as well and they are trying to push things that they know they couldn’t get away with before also but he will see it intercept it and handle it,  which makes me feel even more inadequate. I don’t know what to do about all of this. I mean I’ve learned ALOT but this job is nothing like my former job where basically I was a helpdesk agent answering customer calls. Now I’m a HW technician, helpdesk tech,  cell phone technician,  Maintain server tapes, setting up and deleting users, and managing the pbx phone system. I think that I was tricked into this position because I never realized that I would be doing 10 times the amount of work that I was doing at my old job but I wanted the exposure. Now… I don’t know what I want.  I just want to serve God honestly. …….

Gosh I hate writing these depressing entries!!!! Shoot I have to think of something bright to lighten the mood of this entry.