Doing much better the battle was won

Okay I’m doing much better today and actually I was better by the time I got done warring in the spirit.

Situation is this:

When DH and I hooked up I got a chance to meet his stepdaughter and met my daughter all was well. She was about 10 years old. She came around all the time. She’s a daddy’s girl and the apple of his eye so I loved it.

I get pregnant and she’s still comes around but her mom is upset about it. Why I dunno. Dh and the mom hasn’t been together since he was 17 and he is now 28 at this time?!?! Uhh okay.

We break up for about 9 months and I kick him out of the house when the baby was about 1 year old (whole nother entry). Dumbo decides he doesn’t have anywhere to go so he goes to her house and sleeps on her floor next to her mom whom she is housing at the time. Confirmed sources tell me nothing happened including him and her,  though it didn’t matter to me at the time anyway because we weren’t together. Remember I had just kicked him out of the house.

So 9 months later we get back together and stepdaugher still comes around and everything is cool.

Year later he proposes,  yay everyone is happy about it,  it seems except for baby mama. dh has told me that in times past she has been very jealous of him even though they have not been together for YEARS. She made a comment about his last girlfriend (years before me ofcourse) that she wasn’t going to like any woman he kicked it with being around her daughter. Oh well tough cookies.

We have the wedding and Stepdaughter is in the wedding party. Her mom is furious and trying to do everything in her power to have her miss the wedding. I mean come on this was her daddy’s wedding right? Why would you want to take that away from him.

We get married and all of a sudden visitation STOPS. We get together one time to take a family portrait but beyond that she doesn’t come around. The only time we get calls is on Christmas and HER Birthdays. DH is furious and so am I but I encourage him not to give up on his daughter because the mom is poisoning her to hate me or him or whatever she is doing.

So then come the teen years of course she doesn’t want to be bothered with anyone as most teens don’t. but it’s killing Dh that everytime he wants to spend time with her some coincidentally ‘Comes up’. Mind you Child support is constant and doesn’t stop coming in.

2 years ago Dh loses his job and cannot pay child support. Baby Mama LOSES it. Mind you he is not only paying child support he is buying clothes,  shoes, everything the step daughter needs as baby mama never does. Dh is now working but because it is the last year of step daughters high school and child support instead of having the money come directly out of his check he pays in lump sums. We are now trying to find out why Step daughter won’t come around as she hasn’t come around in the past 4 years. baby mama is emphasizing child support,  Dh is emphasizing spending time with Daughter. Why won’t you make her come over here to visit since you can obviously Make her do anything else that you want her to do? She ain’t grown yet and you still have say so so what’s the deal why is she not coming around?

Baby mama says I dunno why she is acting like this. Maybe she doesn’t like your wife and kids, and she’s jealous of you spending  so much time with YOUR family. DH says MY family? Wait what are you talking about she IS A PART of MY family. Those two are HER little sister and brother too. So don’t classify it like she is not wanted we TRY to include her in everything that we do but YOU always have something come up. Well I guess you can feel proud now like you did it all by yourself and try to discredit me as a good father. Just cause you grew up without a father doesn’t justify you forcing that on my daughter because you are jealous that I’m happy.

So graduation is next week and everyone in the family has an invitation but DH. He calls his daughter to ask for his invitation and WHY he needs to ask for one and she says she’ll mail it out. Mail it out? when you can obviously deliver it? Anyways so in the mail comes the invitation with ONE ticket addressed to MR Quincy Dawson. At first my heart was broken but then I saw it in the spirit. And that’s when I got on the war path of the devil in church. By the time I got home I talked to DH and told him about it and he said he was glad I was praying because he’d just gotten off of the hone with the mama and they were arguing again because for christmas he bought the stepdaughter a cell phone and put the account in his name, later bought his own phone (which step daughter said she was going to do for his birthday) and 2 weeks later his phone is cut off and he doesn’t know why. He calls customer service and the stepdaughter has not only NOT paid her bill she has taken her phone to a different company causing a breach of contract and a 200.00 fine which wasn’t paid (because obviously he didn’t know about it) and his phone was cut off. He calls stepdaughter to find out what her problem is and why she would do that and she 3 ways her mom on the line and tells him that she has too much to worry about than paying the bill. He goes off then Baby mama gets ta cluckin about her  child support and such when it HAS been paid so whats the big hang up.

Anyways I get home from church and I talk to DH he tells me what’s goin on so I tell him I need to have a talk with Baby mama because I think she has the wrong Idea about me. We need to have a woman to woman sit down and discuss our relationship. No matter how I tried to deny it she is a part of this family atleast until her daughter is 18 and I don’t want her getting this idea about me that I am someone that I’m not. She has went up to my nieces and sisters in law asking them if they really  like me? What? Why are you worried about whether they like me or not?anyway so I make my concern known and he calls her then hands the phone to me. I tell her that I’d like to have lunch with her and talk and let her know exactly who I am and dispell any myths that she may have about me. I mean after all we are both Adults, she goes to church so she oughta be a woman of God like me and we can be civilized about it all. This is beyond the Step daughter and DH stuff. We need to have a sit down and just be real with each other in a friendly manner.

I never really took into fact that me marrying Dh would even effect baby mama because I didn’t think it should matter to her but I see this is something that should’ve been done long ago because here it is 5 years later and stepdaughter has not been around and doesn’t even want to come around.

So that’s the tangled web of warfare that I had to crush last night……