The war, the victory, I refuse to accept less

Okay now it’s time to be real honest with myself. I have gained 30 lbs since Feburary.

I literally cannot fit my clothing anymore. I have 2 pairs of pants out of a heap that I can actually fit over my stomach. That seems to be where I am retaining all of the weight. In my stomach and in my back. I refuse to be built like a linebacker!!!! I am constantly in pain in my lower back and legs because I am convinced that my frame is not used to lugging around this much weight. I’m always tired, and I have refused to look in the mirror at myself  (well that was recently I have gotten past that lol). I could blame it on my hypothyroid which is partly responsible, I could blame it on my stressful job which is also partly responsible. I could also blame it on the fact that I never have time to take care of myself cause I’m either catering to the kids,  church or work but I won’t. You know why? Because time for complaining is done and over with.

I have never gained so much weight so fast in my life and I am furious that I haven’t yet bounced back and dropped 10 lbs with the quickness. I’m starting to feel a little Oprahish with all this gaining and losing mess. So I have recentl;y made a declaration that I can’t do this anymore. I can’t spiral out of control anymore. It says in Psalm 25:28 He that hath no rule over his spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls. I refuse to not have rule over my own spirit naturally and spiritually. Ofcourse God is the head of my life and I obey and magnify him in my life but I need to exercise temperance. That is a fruit of the spirit (see GAL 5:20), and I need to obtain it.

Well I told you all that my kids are in track. Well I haven’t run since January. Ofcourse the runner in me got jealous at their last practice on the high school track so I went home laced up and hit the turf. I FELT SO ALIVE!!!! It was a little harder to run with the weight on me, but man I felt good moving around. So the next morning I went walking, and the next, Then Church on Sunday was high praise and excellent for a good workout lol, Then Monday while the kids had practice I laced up again and got some laps in. Tuesday morning I got up and walked the nieghborhood,  Wednesday I got up early and went running in the rain ( MAN THAT IS SOOOO AWESOME), and today I am resting….. don’t wanna burn out. I’ve been cooking more home cooked meals and I have been getting a little more water in. I went shopping Monday and bought some fruit and snacks and I’ve been doing good. I haven’t lost any weight yet but I’ve got a tid bit more energy to get me through the day and today I was able to squeeze into a pair of pants I bought 3 months ago. Albeit I can’t breathe they did fit lol.

I’m on my way back and I refuse to accept nothing less than Victory. Because greater is he that is within me than he that is in the world. And I know that when I do this to glorify God there is nothing and nobody that can stop my progress. I have the majority and It all in ends in victory!

Work was a whole nother monster but I don’t even wanna waste my energy on that. I got some fruit to obtain.