Thank you for letting me love you

This is a quick letter to Kevin that he will more than likely never receive, but I feel like I really need to get this out.

Thank you for letting me love you. You’ve taught me so much about myself, love, and life. About dealing with the cards we are dealt, and learning to truly turn the rough tides of life into smooth sailing. You helped me see how strong I really am, yet you’ve humbled me more than I ever thought I could be. You taught me that it’s ok to cry over love lost, and "a dream deferred". God, you taught me the meaning of forgiveness, and that saying I’m sorry doesn’t mean that you are weak. From you I’ve learned that it is best to love purely, or not at all. When that love is not returned, or when that person is not giving you 100%, it hurts like hell, but at least you know you did the best you could do. You were the first person to tell me that I was beautiful. The first to say that you wanted to be with me for life. You helped me see that my life had purpose. You loved me. Although it was not the way I would’ve loved me if I were you, it was you loving me none-the-less. I wish you could know how beautiful you are. You have so much potential. I believe in you so much. I have high hopes for you, dreams of you reaching the stars. But I’ve learned that it does no good to have these hopes and beliefs in a person, if they don’t believe it themselves. I accepted you for who you are, and vice versa. Thank you. Thank you for not trying to make me change. We accepted each other with all of our flaws, all of our beauty marks. We’ve both gone through a lot, and perhaps our trials are what keep us a part because we always have to be reminded that we are worth the best, but we are who we are. In the end, if I never get to fully love you again, if this world perishes without us ever making love again, I will be thankful for at least being able to love you for 10 of the years I was on this earth. It was an honor to be your friend, your lover. There is a big chunk of my heart that you have, and I’ll never ask for it back. Hold on to it when you feel alone or in despair, and know that you are loved. It’s hard to imagine my life without you, but I will move on, as I am sure you will too. From time to time I will think of you, and send up a special prayer asking God to take care of you, since I’m no longer able to. Speaking of God, I hope that you taste his goodness, and lean on him. He only wants the best for you, and for you to come into your purpose, as do I. I love you, and I have no doubt that I always will. The love may change, but it will still be love all the same. Take care of you. Seriously. I’ve always been afraid of you leaving this world before me. I don’t think I could take it. You’ve always been my other half. I think a big part of me would die with you. With that said, stay out of trouble, stay out of the streets. Take care of your kidneys, and your blood pressure. Live life to the fullest, everyday. Make plans, work towards your goals. And love. Love purely, and with everything you have. Don’t give hate any leeway. Don’t give anger a room in the chambers of your heart.

Loving you always,

L