Will my stroke be tonight?

I am one pissed off motherfucker! That stupid doper bitch I’m married to has done it AGAIN. She’s on 37mcg of Fentanyl, and STILL she dopes herself up with the goddamned motherfucking hydrocodone. I’m so fucking SICK of this BULLSHIT!

Does she EVER consider anyone besides her own goddamn selfish ass?! She couldn’t even stay awake long enough to get from her potty chair to the goddamn BED, which is only about a three foot distance, yet she denies any pain pill popping. Fucking liar.

I hope I die in my fucking sleep tonight. I wouldn’t mind dying RIGHT NOW, goddamnit, because I’m so fucking pissed! The NERVE of her to lie to me over FUCKING PILLS AGAIN!!!!! Again and again and again, the goddamn junkie pops, lies, pops, lies, pops, lies. But I suppose since I will have to tell our kids and grandkids that their selfish bitch of a grandmother died because she’s a fucking pain wuss and not HER who would have to tell them….well, all’s fair and fuck you, too, Herman.

I’ve almost typed all the anger out, which is why I wrote this entry. Goddamn, can’t I EVER catch a break from these goddamn narcotics?

And I still love her. Lucky fucking bitch.

Have you ever tried locking away her meds [like in a fucking safe] and giving them to her as prescribed? I know that’s a pain in the ass but it might be the only way. You are her husband and you have the right to do so. It would not be mean. It’s really hard seeing someone destroy themselves with drugs, prescription or not. I’m sorry you and your family are going through it.

FishinDeerHunter

October 12, 2013

Well, you’re the one still married to her. If you’re that unhappy, why are you staying? You’re only causing yourself more pain, heartache, and anger. If you’re tired of dealing with it, then leave. You might love her, but she doesn’t obviously love you. The drugs are more important to her than you are and you’re going to sit there and let her do that to you?

And don’t say I don’t understand. My daughter’s “father” picked drugs and alcohol over her existence. Went and got high with his mom and lied right to my face that he wasn’t high. They will never pick you. That’s just that.

besieged brunette

Saw your entry on the OD front page and wanted to say I am sorry you have to deal with this. Addiction is an ugly, ugly thing. It is easy for people on the outside to judge, but no one really understands how hard it is to wake up every day to this reality. You are a strong person to stay by her side while you both essentially go through hell. All my best to you both.

Dawn

I agree with all the other writers but I would say that most addicts are very sensitive people. What is your wife’s pain? Blessings to you and your family…

BentnotBroken

I have several thoughts on this situation. First,you need to make it clear to her treatment team that you wont participate in the slow Narcotic death of your wife. If Laurie is not terminally ill there is NO NEED for her to be receiving Fentanyl. That’s a last ditch pain relief method for people in intractable pain associated with end of life. Shame on the Doctor that prescribed it! Hugssss.