Accepting of one’s own nature

 I see so many beautiful people around who don’t see any their own beauty at all. That bothers me, because it means nobody ever tells them about it. That seems to indicate that they’ve only been told the negative. Why?

While I would like to be a friendlier, much less temperamental person, I just have to hope for the future, because I sure don’t know how to change it right now…so I just have to accept it and hope I figure it out someday.

I’ve noticed the oddest thing about myself. When it comes to dealing with people, I’m really not all that pleasant to people I consider peers. Or if I am, it can change in a heartbeat. But "my babies"? I can’t lose the softness they bring to me. I can lose it in any given situation, for a short bit, but overall, Laurie is right…"If your precious BABIES do ANYTHING, it’s okay!" Well, it’s NOT always okay, but I firmly believe that it is my job to be supportive. I tell them when they’re acting dumb or when they need to change a negative characteristic into a positive one…as if I’m some expert on that…but I don’t criticize them harshly. I don’t tear them to shreds, the way it was done to me. Look what a mess I have become! I don’t wish that on any of these wonderful people!

The world is just full of people waiting to tell our children how wrong they are, how bad they are, how stupid they are, on and on and on. So MY job is to tell them that IF they’re wrong, we’ll work on finding a way to change it. If they’re right, I’ll tell them so. If they feel stupid, why do they feel it? Oh, that’s why? Pish, baby, people do WAY dumber things than that all the time! If it makes you feel stupid, don’t do it. If the action itself didn’t make you feel stupid, but someone else made you feel stupid about it, then my advice is to say "FUCK ‘EM".  Yes, I have actually given that advice to some of our kids. 

Am I the only parent who wants his children to be happy with themselves? I don’t want them to feel they have to "make me proud", because I will never NOT find a reason  to be proud. Even at our lowest point, when Tiffany lost custody of her children, I was mad as hell, but I found reasons to be proud and to admire her. That’s my job, and I LOVE my job.

I can’t abide thinking that my children could view themselves the way I view me. No way. My children will always hear their good points and what I hope is constructive (but is NOT destructive) criticism about their faults. Nobody’s perfect, and look what they did to the One who was! If they make mistakes, learn from them. If it takes a number of times, hey, you’re a slow learner. Join the club, baby!

Maybe this is why it’s so easy for me to slip into the role of parent with people, some of whom are not really that much younger…and some even older…than I. If I see them as "my child", then I know I will be good to them. I just pray I am good FOR them, too.