Hostile wakeup

I stayed up all night, going to bed at 9am or so.  It is now 1pm, and I’m in a really pissy mood.  I’m reflecting on something that happened last night vs. something that happened last week.  Last night, MH got angry with me for being a smart-ass to friend of hers who was rude to her.  It’s okay, she said, that he’s like that.  He’s always been like that.

Uh huh.  This is the same woman who ORDERED me not to make a scene at our brother’s wedding because there was not one single mention of our father.  Everybody else in the goddamned world, but not Daddy.  "It had to be an oversight", everybody kept saying.  No, it wasn’t.  You don’t OVERLOOK your own fucking parents!  MY parents can’t BE an "oversight"!  It was done on purpose, and in an effort to keep peace with my mother’s husband.  Mama did that at Memaw’s funeral, too.

I’m getting awfully fucking sick of people ERASING my father’s existence to suit my mother’s current goddamned husband.  I’m thinking really hard of telling them all that if it’s that easy to write off Daddy, then they don’t need ME in their lives, either.  Not that it would probably make any fucking difference to them.  We Hermans are dispensable, from the looks of it.  Fuck them!

I am getting angrier and angrier….I feel like breaking something.