Anti-bitterness pill

I don’t like pills anymore, but if they could make one like that, it would be so awesome!  I’m gradually learning to get over my own bitterness, and it’s tough, but I have some really good motivation.  Family and friends aside, for a moment, I’ve been reading a LOT of diaries, blogs, and Facebook posts where people express really negative things about others.  I understand being angry and venting, in a moment of anger/rage.  What I don’t understand, like, or want to be like is those who hold deep beliefs that are really NOT helpful at all.  Before I get too far up on my soapbox, let me admit here and now that I know I have these, too.

People can be so judgmental.  That really bothers me.  Even if I am not the one being judged, it really hurts my heart to see it happen.  I also don’t understand this "You MUST accommodate me" attitude that a lot of people seem to have. 

I am a fat, geeky, bipolar man.  While it would be nice if some accommodations could be made to suit me, I certainly don’t think the world owes it to me.  I believe I have a duty toward the world, not the other way around.  For instance, one diarist wrote about a "nearly 300 pound" man….kinda like me….who wants to sue White Castle for not having big enough booths.  Ummm, that’s NOT like me.  I have had the experience of not fitting comfortably into booths at restaurants, but that is MY problem, not theirs.  They didn’t make me fat, I did.  

My wife is wheelchair-bound when out in public.  There are many many places here that are NOT handicapped-friendly, but again….there are other options than suing and forcing people to spend money they don’t really have to fix things they did not anticipate in the first place.  If we find a place we want to eat, and it doesn’t have suitable accommodations for her wheelchair, then we either go someplace else, go shopping, or I get takeout.  What’s the problem with any of those options?  Sure, it can be inconvenient, but whoever said life was easy?

There is also a whole lot of bitterness about this whole "MY tax dollars are being used to support people who don’t want to work" thing.  First of all, you don’t live anyone’s life but your own, so there may be things you don’t know about those "people who don’t want to work".  If you don’t want to make an effort to understand what’s going on and maybe help bring about a change…well, the way I was brought up, that leaves you one option: SHUT THE HELL UP!  Oh, and have a nice day…a nice, QUIET day.

I’m tired of making excuses, explaining, and being hurt by someone else’s stupidity.  If someone doesn’t like me or my situation, they don’t have to look.  If they hate that I’m fat, but they don’t want to know WHY I’m fat, then they don’t really need to be running their damned mouths about it, BUT…if they do, it’s no skin off mine.  I’m not the one who is being a hateful gossip.  I don’t have to answer for that.

My mother always said, "Own your own problems."  I’m so glad she said that, too.  To me, that means I have to accept responsibility for my own actions and situations, but it also means that I do NOT have to accept responsibility for things that are not my actions or situations.  I can sympathize, empathize, whatever-pathize until the cows come home, but when it comes down to brass tacks, it’s not my problem unless I CHOOSE to make it mine.

K, I’m about to have to get something for Laurie, and I guess I’ve said all I had to say, for now.  If not, you can bet I’ll write more later.

Love to all,

Hermy