My 6th OFFICIAL Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day to you Dads who read this.  The only one I know of, for sure, is Red, but everyone is included!

It’s my 6th official Father’s Day.  By that, I mean that I’ve been married for six years.  Our involvement goes back a decade, so I feel kinda like I have a decade’s experience in the Dad department, but who knows?  Maybe the girls don’t feel that way!  IKES!

Things are beginning to look up.  Of course, I’m a little frightened to write that, because it seems like every time I say something like that, the world crashes again. 

It’s painful to look at pictures of Memaw or hold anything that belonged to her….and wouldn’t you know it’s all at my house!!!!!  I randomly pick up one of her favorite blankets and hug it and smell of it.  Makes me feel better, closer to my beautiful Memaw.

For a little bit, I was having a really hard time subscribing to my own version of the old saying "Life goes on".  I always add "even when we don’t want it to!"  I was having a hard time with that.  I REALLY didn’t want it to go on.  

My whole world has shifted.  That’s not being melodramatic.  My grandmothers were a HUGE part of my world, and they are both gone now.  I’m still a little on the lost side, but I’m beginning to feel like I CAN find my place in the world.  

The other day, I visited the cemetery where Daddy, Grandpa, and Nanny are, and I attempted to take care of some business.  I don’t know how useful that was.  The only decisions that came from it were that we are having a bench removed from between the graves, because it wasn’t set properly and will eventually fall and we don’t have the money to correct the problem…and they’re supposed to be looking into leveling the headstones, which have slanted in towards each other.  

So much of my life has been about DEATH.  Maybe now it can be about LIFE.  I sure hope so.

Love you all very much,

Hermy