Big Ugly Family War

Yesterday, my grandson Benny turned two years old.  Also yesterday began the Big Ugly Family War.

On Facebook, I made a comment about having spoken to my grandmother (and letting the Devil grab my tongue for my reply).  My sister asked me politely not to mention Nanny again, for fear that some of our cousins would realize Nanny is still in her house, alone, and step in to challenge Mary Helen’s assignation of guardianship.  I simply said that I had not mentioned HOW  I spoke to Nanny.  MH said she "should have known [I] wouldn’t be amenable to [her] request."

Now, somehow, I had managed to forget that I was always, consistently, and without FAIL, the most unreasonable bastard on the planet, but this brought it right back into my mind, to say nothing of my heart, which I DO actually have.

Thus began the War.  I don’t remember many details anymore, but during our argument, I screamed at her that everyone knew she was a liar and had to have everything HER way all the time or nothing went anyway EVER.  I told her she’d be surprised to know who all knew that.  Well, she told me that she had always been loyal and stuck by my side, even though I had always treated her like total shit.  Nice to know, sis.  Nice to know my WHOLE LIFE, I’ve been nothing but a thorn in your side!  She denied that she was "beating me down" (my words, not hers) and trying to censor me (again, my words).  She said she "only" asked that I not post on things that affected her life.  I could say whatever the hell I wanted about my own life, but leave hers out of it.  Unless, of course, it was something happy and peppy….THEN I could post whatever I wanted.  I can say how GREAT AND WONDERFUL my sister is, but I can’t even HINT at a cross word, or she literally and actually ALREADY HAS threatened to file police reports on me.  

Mind you, the things I say are NEVER specific.  I don’t go on and say, "Oh, my sister Mary Helen is a bitch….blah blah blah".  I make generalized statements that she recognizes as being about her, therefore, because her goddamned EGO is so LARGE, she ASSUMES everyone will know they’re about her.  She got set straight about that last night, by a friend of mine.  

So we eventually ended the battle….not the war, but the battle.  Today, however, brought a NEW battle.  Overnight, I guess, she had thought about what I’d said about who in the family knew she was a liar and battle-ax.  She emailed me, asking who "hated her but pretended to love her" and who was "making a fool of her, because she gave them her full love and they obviously didn’t give theirs back".  Ok, who the fuck said all THAT?!!!!!  

I tried to steer clear of the topic.  I tried not to answer her, but we began chatting again.  I didn’t want to answer those questions, because I KNEW it would cause another fight, and my life has been on unsteady enough ground without unnecessary fights adding to the damage!  Then, she went and threatened me.  She said she guessed she had been right the previous night when she had said she shouldn’t talk to me anymore.  She should withdraw from any contact with me.  The problem with that…..she also said, yesterday, during our fight, that if SHE lost touch with me, obviously so did her children.  I told her she was being unfair and using her children as weapons.  She didn’t agree.  Of course not, it was HER doing it, so how on Earth could it be WRONG?!!!!!  But she threatened it again this morning, and I snapped!

I said, "Bitch, if you want to play it this way, I’ll fucking tell you who it is!  It’s our MOTHER and our BROTHER!  They know you’re pushy and bossy and have to have EVERYTHING your way or to hell with everything and everybody.  They know you’re nothing but a liar.  They don’t LIKE you, but they tolerate you, same as I do!"

Now, I was low to say that last part about not liking her.  It’s all subjective.  In general, we DO like her.  So MH decides that I "have won", and she will withdraw from the entire family.  She expected me to name aunts, uncles, or cousins, not our own mother and brother, and it hurt her so badly, she said.  

Maybe it did.  Maybe it didn’t.  I don’t know, because the word "introspective" has never crossed my mind when thinking of how to describe my sister. 

When I told my mother what had happened, I told her that it had all started by my making a comment about talking to my grandmother.  I said that

it was taken as if I had PURPOSELY devised a sneaky method to let my cousins know Nanny was still alone in her home.  It was taken to mean that I thought I was being sneaky and devious.  For fuck’s sake!  I just said something that was on my mind, without thinking about it!!!!!!!!

So what happens this afternoon?  Nanny asks me for some food.  We are OUT of food.  We can’t even feed ourselves right now, but Mama and Mary Helen don’t believe that .  I called Mama and told her that Nanny specifically asked me to ask her to bring "lots of food" for her to eat.  Mama even said, at one point, that she was "at the store".  About an hour or so later, I texted Mama, asking if she was coming by to feed Nanny.  She said, "U got anything to give her?"  I said, "Chicken thighs, I guess." We DO have an old bag of chicken thighs, but Mama just yesterday told me she didn’t approve of cooking them in the microwave.  Mama then had the audacity to tell me…."Went home without thinking about it".

Fine, you want a goddamned WAR, you’ve GOT a goddamned WAR!  You asked for it, and now you have OFFICIALLY crossed to my shit list!  

I wish I could just drop dead.  It would be easier than dealing with the bullshit that has been going down lately.  I’ve been grieving REALLY fucking hard for the loss of our three grandchildren (custody loss, not death), and then there’s the pressure of keeping the lid on my sister’s secret, so that our cousins don’t rush in and overthrow the Fuhrer’s plans.  Now, my mother gets all bitchy and smart-assy with me.  I can’t do this anymore.  They can just GO…..TO…..HELLLLLLLLL!  

I’m done.

PdC