Happy but annoyed

I just finished talking to Nathaneal, our oldest grandson, on the telephone about twenty minutes ago.  During the call, he gave me his email address.  He was about to give me his home address, too, but I stopped him.  I told him Tante Blanche, his adoptive mother, had her own reasons not to give the address to us.  Well, it turns out, she had reason not to give us his email address, too.  I’m so FRUSTRATED!  I understand why she doesn’t want us to use it, but I’ve got it ingrained in my mind already, so I HAVE the email address, whether I can USE it or not!

I feel like calling up Tiffany and sarcastically thanking her for ruining my chance to be closer to my grandson.  I know that would be wrong, though.  It would only hurt MY DAUGHTER, and I can’t do that.  As frustrated and angry as I get that what SHE did has affected how much I get to see my own grandson, I would rather just "grin and bear it" than confront her with it and totally crush her.  So I’m not exactly grinning; so what?

Why is it so painful being a parent sometimes?  I know God knew what He was doing when he gave me adult children, but damnit, it can be very painful sometimes.  It hurts so much that I have NO access to three of our grandchildren and very limited access to one of them.  If we were nearer to Elisabeth, I know we’d have unrestricted access to Benny, Jr.  Thank God!  I couldn’t STAND it if we lived close and I didn’t get a chance to be a grandparent to my baby boy.  As it stands, any time I want to talk to Jr., I just have to call Elisabeth and Benny.  On THAT count, we’re very fortunate!!!!!

The phrase "count your blessings" (and a song of the same title) keep running through my mind.  Ok.  My blessings…..I have two beautiful, wonderful, loving grandsons that I am able to talk with and get to know, if only over the phone or through occasional visits in person. 

Not to mention my wife and kids!

I’ll wrap up for now.  Might write more later…no promises!

Betty Louise