If I should die before I SLEEP

 

My Mikey, I love you

∞ • π³ + 1

Allow me step in and play death-hag-drama-ho, this time.  If I should die before I sleep?  Let me explain…..

Every morning, I wake up with an upset stomach, and most days begin with my vomiting.  No, I do NOT do it purposely.  I do not enjoy throwing up one bit, and I’ll do anything I can to keep from it, usually.

It’s to the point where I’m getting really worried that maybe something serious (read the word serious as "cancer") is wrong with me.  It’s not like I’d be the first in our family to have it.  I just hope it’s nothing that serious.

Mary Helen, Frankie, and the kiddos are back in Austin.  Tentative plans are for us to go back on the 7th of August (well, that’s already a sure thing, not just tentative).  The tentative part is when we’ll LEAVE Austin.  Again, it looks as if we may have to stay for a few days or so.  At this point, it’s appearing to be that we’ll stay until the 11th, which I honestly do not want to do.

I love my babies like nobody’s business, and I’m aware that they love me the same.  What I can’t deal with is that I KNOW I’m not wanted there by the adults in the household.  MH claims she’s fine with our being there, but I don’t fully believe it.  Even if I did, it wouldn’t really change much.  I know Frankie does not like us staying there.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I don’t like being somewhere I’m not wanted.  I’ll avoid it or change the situation as fast as I can, and in whatever manner it needs be done.  Why stay where I’m not wanted?  That’s my whole goddamned life, and I’m tired of it, frankly.

Bomber is acting like an idiot this morning.  He’s in Hyper Kitty mode again.  That’s not good, because if he wakes up Daddy (Mikey) with his behavior, then he and Poppa (I) are in for a hard time.

I tell you, I sure do love that little shit.

I want to have Lola visit us again.  Don’t know how that will happen, because we’re still without a car, right now.  Lola, if you’re reading this, maybe you can keep making tentative plans to visit us in the near future?  I dunno!

I’ve been thinking about people who aren’t here anymore quite a lot, lately.  I want to put together a slideshow type of thing to function as a video for "Timeless".  It would feature pictures of Daddy and Mrs. Chaffee.  I don’t think I HAVE pictures of anyone else on the computer.  That’s where I’d have to be inventive.  The whole point of the song is that, even if it’s only through stories we tell others, people still live on, even after death.  That’s why the song is for Ed, too.  Ed is/was Lola’s father, and I’ve come to love Ed from the stories Lola has told us.  I think I’d have really enjoyed him!  Let’s just hope he would’ve enjoyed me, too!  LOL

For Mum, for Daddy, for all my family and friends…..if I get to heaven someday, I won’t be lonely.  That’s for sure!

Everyone take care!  I wish the best for you today, and I hope you have whatever you want and need….maybe even a little extra! 🙂

Love,

Betty Louise