Individuation

 

My Mikey, I love you

∞ • π³ + 1

David wrote an entry about accepting himself, making changes to suit himself, and the whole thing about wanting to be someone but feeling held back.

Boy oh boy, can I relate.

There’s one thing I have to say, for sure, David.  Nobody can hold you back unless you let them.  I have the same problem.  For so long, I’ve felt trapped by other people’s constraints and boundaries, but I’m coming to know (at long damned last!!!!) that I make my rules.  It’s my life, and I live it.  Therefore, people may have a place to offer advice and opinions, but I have to live with the consequences of my decisions.  They do not.  So I will make them based on what is best for my family and me, meaning my spouse and me, really.

I don’t mind considering him in my decisions.  I think there would be something fundamentally wrong with me if I did mind!!!!  As much as I love the rest of my family, they don’t live my life.  Only my hubby and I live my life.  We deal with ALL the repercussions, be they good or bad, so we will decide for ourselves.

Nobody has to back off and let me decide anything.  That’s where I was wrong in my song "I Will Live My Life".  I got it right the last time….stand up and watch me, damnit!!!!!!

I don’t really care for the face I see in the mirror, either, but it’s still my face.  I won’t do the surgery thing, so I’m stuck with this face.  Ok, I can live with it, most of the time.  I don’t like how far the nose is from my upper lip.  I don’t like how dead I look a lot of times….dark circles under my eyes and such.  I don’t like my teeth.  I don’t like how little my nose is.

But it is my face, and I’m stuck with it.  At least Mikey likes it.  I have no idea if Garritt, my partner inside that body, does or not.

Remember…instead of wanting someone to let you live your life, dare them to try to stop you!!!!!!

Love, hugs, and tofu,

PdC