Explanation

Ok, I’m sure you’ve all noticed my recently fluctuating moods, based on recent strings of entries.  Allow me to explain a bit?

I have been on Depakote and Paxil for the past two months.  I have been on Paxil before, and it had a VERY negative effect on me.  I had hoped, this time around, that it would be different.  Last time, I was on other meds, as well.  I thought maybe it had been a bad combination of Paxil and something else that previously fucked me over hard.  Apparently, that’s what I get for thinking.

It took a wall-eyed hissy fit today to realize that Paxil was doing it again.  It helps with my anxiety levels, but for reasons I cannot understand, it wreaks havoc on my bipolarism.  Piers is usually the one who is out when we’re on the depressive end of the spectrum.  It varies with the mania.  I am a rapid cycler, so that further complicates matters.  Fucking hard-to-treat status.

Anyway….My Mikey and I decided, after a Piers hissy fit, that I will  not take Paxil anymore.  The effects of it may take a little time to wear off.  God, I hope it’s not long.  Maybe I’ll be lucky and sweat it all out soon.

I will continue to write in here.  Piers was in an "I hate myself" mood earlier, and he was convinced that he would have enemies instead of friends on here, too.  He said that everyone turns against him, anyway.  While there is SOME truth to that, it’s not REALLY true all the way.  We’re working on him.  That’s all I can say.

Please forgive my recent moodiness.  I hope like hell it improves fast.

My Mikey, I love you forever times PI cubed plus one,

Your Jack