Lunchcast with Piers deCorte as your host

What a lunch to report on today!  Piers deCorte comin’ atcha live live live at 12:05pm, Central Standard Time.

 

In today’s news, we have a story of Nanny and Bealls and Goody’s.  Two clothing stores and a forgetful shoplifting old lady!  Stay tuned for details.  We now take a break for our sponsors.

 

“Golly gee whiz, I wish I could get my hair that silver!”

 

Have you always wanted silver hair, but no matter what you tried, it just didn’t get there?  We proudly introduce new “Silver Locks”!

“Silver Locks” is guaranteed to turn your hair either silver or maybe even snow white!  All it takes is fifty thousand cc’s of distilled stress, mixed with one part comic relief!  Poof!  You look like a grandpa!!!!  Don’t forget to run to your senile grandmother’s house today for a good dose of “Silver Locks”.

 

And we’re back!  Piers deCorte delivering the news……

 

As we sat, drinking coffee, Nanny told us that Grandpa used to say to her, “Honey, when God made you, He threw away the pattern!”  And she proclaimed how right Grandpa had been.

 

“I fall into de house.  I fall out of de house.”

 

At this point, Mama very nearly spewed coffee out her nose.  Bravely, she struggled to keep her recent gulp from upchucking through her nostrils, and she succeeded.

 

The weather today at the Batcave was rather comfortable.  Not too hot, not too cold.  No cold fronts moved in on us, and we remained pretty neutral the whole way through lunch. 

 

At one point, Mama mentioned that we here at Bom-Pom Palace are out of cigarettes.  Nanny said, “I jess gave you de money for some!!!!”  I replied with a sharp, “Four days ago!”

 

So, before we left, Nanny gave me two packs of her cigarettes.  Payday is Monday, but these few days will feel like a few YEARS.  Now we bre

ak for another sponsor.

 

“Want your days to stretch into infinity?  Try the new ‘Broke Stretch’ product line from Hermco Enterprises!  With ‘Broke Stretch’, each day you spend with no money feels as if it is stretching into at least 365 similar days.  No more yearning for time to slow down.  Get ‘Broke Stretch’ today!!!!  Available at all houses in the United States, plus at your local grocery store in the Western Union portion.”

 

Ok, so this is Piers here again with the rest of the news.

 

Nanny is going “shopping” today.  I wonder how many stores she will try to pry from the ground.  You know…shop-lifting.  Har har yucka yucka, folks.  You know it was funny!

 

She says they are having a senior citizen day at Bealls and Goody’s.  I wonder if today will be the day that she finally commits her fatal sin.  Tune in tomorrow at lunchtime for further details!

 

PdC

Closing shop

 

Thank you, and have a nice night, folks.

 

 

Log in to write a note
April 27, 2006

Well baby I hope things go well for Nanny she’s nuts to go shopping without someone to supervise her but oh waiting for next call help I’ve been locked up type you know I love you forever times PI cubed plus on your mate btw

April 27, 2006

Okay This would have given Edward R Murrow a run for his money. This is funny. Sad though. I sent a reply to your email. Damn I wish I could be in two places at once. Nanny is going to turn your hair silver. You do not need product for that. Tell Mikey I will try to watch the video. Laughter is the best medicine and I thank you for making me laugh. Now to download George Carlin.

April 27, 2006

Incredibly creative. I like the “commercials”. I have to say, I know how the “broke stretch” works all to well. I think we need to invent a “broke shrink” it makes the times that you’d be broke, just dissappear. Okay, so maybe that one needs more though. What can I say, David’s the creative one not me. Lots of love, John