Depression, depression, go away…..

Why do I have to be depressed so much of the time now?  Sure, we’re in lean times, but that is the norm around here, so why is it so much worse now?  Because I’m married with two children out of the state that I can’t help worth shit.  I can’t even help their mother!!!!!

Our water is turned off.  Depending upon the mood of the next worker I talk to, it could cost either $93.someodd or $143.someodd to get it back on.  The first lady I talked to said we could bill out the reconnection fee of $50, even though they’re "never supposed to do that".  That phrase worries me.  What if the next person catches that and decides that since they’re not supposed to bill out they WON’T?!!!!

We’re due to lose electricity anytime now.  There is an outstanding $293 balance.  How is it so much?  We just got TXU in "Laurie’s" name, and there was a $270 deposit.

I feel so useless.  I am not doing much better with handling public places yet, and I’m out of Paxil as of last night, anyway.  If I GET better at handling it, how can I interview for jobs with no water to clean up?  I don’t want to go in thinking I’m ok from sponge-bathing myself from bottled water and find out later that I stank or some such.

I don’t know what to do, and it’s weighing on me awfully hard.  The idea of the stories has gotten nowhere fast.  Wishful thinking, I guess.

Like so much of my life.  Wishful thinking.

Piers actually feels sorry for me right now, which is a rarity.  He usually doesn’t have much use for me when I feel this way.

C’est la fuckin’ vie, I guess.

We’ll pull through this somehow.  We always manage.

My Mikey, I love you forever times PI cubed plus one,

Your SadSack Jack