11:22pm – It is not the end

This is Jack. We had a VERY unexpected situation today. It turns out that Peter is a woman. The very woman I had thought was his roommate who always ignored me. At first, I was rather devastated. I am not devastated about that, but something else happened that has ripped my heart apart.

Laurice Minton arrived today at near 2pm, here in Waco, Texas. I was stunned, to say the least. Same voice that I love so much. I know this is the person with whom I fell in love. Unfortunately for both of us, my shock conveyed what it probably would have to anyone….that I was rejecting her. At first, I felt betrayed. I no longer do.

When we arrived at the house, she went for a walk. I didn’t think it was safe for her to walk alone, in both our current conditions. I wanted her to talk to me. Explain. I also WANTED to hold her, because she is the person I fell in love with. I shouldn’t have let her go. She took along a few bottles of pills, which were empty upon her return. I didn’t know that she had even taken them with her until she passed out in our office.

God, I wish I hadn’t reacted as I did. I did some hardcore analyzing of myself while I waited in the waiting room of the hospital. I fell in love with a person based on what is INSIDE, not what is on the outside. The only thing that Peter being Laurie really changes is the sexual aspect of our relationship. I’m still in love with her. I asked myself if I could live with a woman for the rest of my life. My immediate comeback to that was to ask if I could live WITHOUT “My Mikey” – or what I think of when I think of My Mikey – for the rest of my life.

I can’t live without her. As strange as this may seem, I really believe I will wind up getting married to Laurie. She’s still the same person inside. Only the outside “changed”. I’ve been saying all along that she was beautiful inside. Well, beautiful she is. And an integral part of me. Half of me. My better half.

My better half, who lies in the ICU of a hospital right now. She is on a respirator. All functions aside from breathing seem good. I left her a note, saying that she needs to get well soon and come home to me. She makes it home. She IS My Mikey.

I’m getting sleepy, so I’ll try to write more on this tomorrow. It’s not the end. It’s just beginning again.

Laurie, My Key, My Mikey, PeterLove – all are one and the same – I love you forever times PI cubed plus one,

Your HermyJack