re : Honest love with my best friend
“Hermy, I know so many times today I was gonna sit down and write an entry but didn’t. I was going to talk about what we were talking about over coffee and cigarettes but that entry got lost in the ether………..”
Sweet Mikey Baby, you and I often experience moments where what we intend and what actually happens are vastly different from each other! Believe me, I understand.
“So here I sit happy, ok dear reader, I know I can confuse a saint much less try his patience…………”
I don’t think you confuse any saint, and you certainly wouldn’t try his/her patience!!! Let’s find out. I’ll ask one. Mikey, do you try your own patience? hehe, I know….naughty Hermy. tee h-h- he he he
“Hermy is both my best friend and my true love, he has seen me through so much. We meet of all places online through a yahoo group called “Gay Pen Pals” which neither of us can find this silly group or any trace of it at all ok so was this some strange way for fate to set us up?????????????”
I filled out an e-mail survey back in January 2003 where it asked who were my “best pals”. I put Amie, Stacy, I think Catherine, and then……PETER!!!! You are my true love, as well, baby. What you leave out of your stories is that you saw me through some very hard times, too. We both shifted from home to home to home to mental institution to home to home, etc. and provided a loving escape for the other. We can relate….so like in spite of our differences. I love the foundation of friendship we share, baby. You are my greatest blessing in life, Mikey! Peter Henry, as a whole!!!! Mikey, though, for you my love has turned so strong I sometimes wonder how I ever lived before! Ok, I ALWAYS wonder! I am so glad for the onc-time existence of the gay penpal group.
“Most likely so!!!!!!!!! I think only he and I found this group and sent posts out. I read his and got in contact with him because, first his sense of humor is highly ironic, and I so understand irony, and secondly I felt how he was what people call a kindred soul……..”
All I can say is it takes one to know one, my darling.
“Like, I have said Hermy has been through a lot with me. Seen me through some very dark times and has loved me from the very first. I have loved him as well. I just didn’t know the extent of the feelings, I had for him until recently……… When, I was being my most self destructive he fought for me, fought for my life………………………Against me the one person who could or would hurt me the worst.”
“Your warrior’s here to fight for you, each step of the way”. I love you. Plain and simple, Mikey. I love you. I haver since the day we met, and I really believe I loved you before that, even. All my life, I have felt I was standing on the edge of something wonderful. Now, I know exactly what that “something” is….YOU. Fighting for you….baby, it was never easy to say some of the things I said or do some of the things I did. As you know, I am very reality-oriented, and I had to make a choice….let Mikey keep deluding himself and wind up dead, or confront him with the reality of what was happening and watch the man I love most in the world heal from things. I was so scared that I would run you away, baby. No one has ever loved me enough to stay when I was fighting them for them. You are the first in so many ways for so many things. For better or for worse, baby, I am yours.
“Hermy, see’s something in me that I can’t see yet. He has called me an angel. I don’t want him to call me an angel, because I don’t see myself as a innocent. Hermy tells me what happened to me wasn’t something I wanted which is true I didn’t want the life I was forced to live due to circumstance…….. Like he says, all I want is love, and I do. I have that someone who loves me and will stand by my side no matter what………. I wish this for all out there for them to find a “Hermy” someone who’ll love them…………………….. NO MATTER WHAT!”
Likewise, you see something in me that I can’t see yet, too. Sometimes, you have said I have a ‘touch of the divine’. Baby, that is very sweet, but I do not know how you could see that in me. One very important thing….you make me love myself, after 28 years of hating the person in the mirror, I can see worth where none spoke to me before. Thank you, baby. The world deserves a dash of Mikey. I’ll keep the bottle, hehe, but everyone needs at least a dash!
I love you, Mikey, forever times pi cubed plus one…………………..
NO MATTER WHAT!