What is it like……? MPD/DID

Being married to a partner who is DID/MPD?

I don’t know how most people would answer this, but I guess that’s really not the point, now is it? This is MY answer.

Being married to a man who is DID/MPD is not always easy, but let me state here and now that I would not trade our life for anything in the universe. I have learned that Peter and Charlie (two of the three adult male persons inside my husband) have agreed that it is okay for me to focus exclusively on Mikey while my darling, beautiful Mikey is out. I faced Charlie and Peter separately and together the other day (something you learn as you deal with this situation), and I told them that because they had stepped back and allowed Mikey to retain almost complete control over the body, it has gotten to the point where I want my Mikey all the time. It isn’t that I am no longer in love with all three (which can make one feel like a polygamist!!!!). I certainly AM in love with 8 people who inhabit the body. However, Charlie has become more of the comforter for us than the active lover and romancer he was before. Peter, God bless him, is still so afraid of things that he “sleeps” a lot.

It’s not all about romance, though to a large degree, that is our life. My husband’s “disorder” – if it’s a disorder, then how come I enjoy things the way they are? – provides me with an entire family all in one body. What a family! I have three husbands (POLYGAMIST!!!!!), two sons, two daughters, and a sister-guide all in one man.

I really enjoy being a father to my two teens and my two toddlers. Stevie and Agnes are the teens. I haven’t spoken directly with Aggie for a while, which may be a good thing, in a twisted way. I love her dearly, but we only talked when she was really sad, and she seems to have lost a great deal of her sadness. Naturally, this makes me feel quite good for my daughter!

Stevie, my darling son…..He thinks he is a terrible, ugly soul. He is neither of those. Even if he looked like Quasimoto, I would still find my darling teenage son the most beautiful teenage son alive! He has such goodness at the core of him. He so adores Mikey, too, which is something we certainly have in common. Many times, we talk about the things that happened to make my son unhappy. He suffered so much at the hands of other people, and I really wish there was some way to take it all away with a kiss/hug. We have the “Good Daddy Chair”, in which we sit together and rock when my boy feels scared or we just want some together time. He is not a typical teenager, in that he does NOT withdraw from me. For this, I am thankful. He still wants the same closeness I share with Petey, my four year old son. It is my pleasure to give it to him!

The body of my husband houses a 4yo son and 2yo daughter for me, too. Petey – My Sweetey Petey – and Emma. I don’t get to spend one-on-one time with Emma just yet. Petey, however, is a delight to spend time with. He calls me Daddy, and he likes talking to me. I love his energy and enthusiasm, and he has such a positive attitude about things. He seeks the fun in every situation, and he constantly flatters me with his kind words and actions. Right now, his main focus seems to be figuring out whether he can “works wif Dady” if I have to get a job. When he asked me if he could work with me, my heart melted into a great big puddle. He is the sweetest boy in the whole world! I loves My Sweetey Petey, precious baby boy of mine!

Meme is my sister-guide. She is a bit too calm about things to suit me sometimes, but she is great at calming me down when I need it. She has the qualities of a goddess, sometimes, in my mind, which amuses her. She says she is “just me”.

The day is starting to make small demands on me now, so I have to get dressed and run an errand or two. I will be back to write more of the “What is it like….?” entries. The next one will deal with marriage to an HIV+ partner. Let me preface it by saying that I have the greatest husband in the world, and nothing nothing NOTHING would be any better than the relationship we share now!

Ta ta for now,

Hermy

p.s. Mikey, I love you forever times pi cubed plus one!

Your Hermy