Long entry :-O

Hey all!

Well, a lots happened since I last updated. But right now I will focus on the one big but depressing piece of news, and tell you more tomorrow.

Mike’s grandma died on the 25th August. (obituary can be found here: http://announce.jpress.co.uk/6245734?s_source=jpnw_pres)  It was pretty much expected and she had been ill one way or another since I had met her 3 and a half years ago.  To be honest I’m really going to miss her.  It was Mike and Chris’ first experience with death and i think it went pretty easily as far as they go.  Chris was debating going to see her but eventually decided against it.  I said I’d go with him, but thankfully I didn’t have to.  They all saw her the night she died, I was the only one who didn’t, ironically for the first time, but I guess all those who should have been there, was.  Mike dealt with it pretty well, just asked a lot of questions.  He has been super affectionate since so I think its given him a sense of mortality to be honest, which in this situation I think is a good thing.  Its strange to me that he made it to almost 25 (it was his birthday on the 30th) without anyone dying.  I’m only 23 and all my grandparents (and a couple of friends) are dead.  Like most people who i have had experience with, I fully believe she knew she was going.

For example, she was talking to someone, and when they asked who she said Eileen (her dead sister) and the same thing happened with her dad, and she also mentioned about going up (everyone thought she ment upstairs at the time because they kept moving the ward she was on) but in retrospects she was on about heaven. 

They got the obituary wrong a few times.  Her name was Constance Isobel Bell (we smile at the name) not Isabel, and they also put loving husband of Bill when she was actually his wife, haha. It makes me smile, cause I was the one who noticed after it had been printed in the paper, and I had to spell it out what was wrong.  This then led to lots of panicked and angry phone calls. Hehe.  Connie woulda been laughing with me God Bless her. 

The day after she died, we went to see Mike’s grandad, and his uncle Graham was there.  A guy two doors down is a club singer (does charity gigs) and he’s was practising his Elvis, pretty loudly (and badly).  So we was being serenaded by loud, depressing songs.  Graham got me and mike to go into the yard with him, and waited until he had finished the song and started loudly clapping and cheering, to which Elvis replies "thank you very much". It was hysterically funny after such an emotional day.

Finding a top, I could wear for the funeral, was HORRENDOUS.  I eventually got a top that was a size 22 and tucked it into my bra.  Everywhere I went, anything in my size was unsuitable.  Anything suitable didn’t go above a size 12. First time I have had that nightmare shopping trip.  – It really was a nightmare too, because of waterstones and an E-reader, but more on that next time.

The funeral was debateable.  It went out fine which IS the important part.  Mike was a pallbearer which I found VERY emotional.  It was the first burial I have every been to.  When we was going in, we got split up and I was forced to sit with people I dont know, even though I was much closer to Connie than her other grandchildrens partners who was all sat together, and I wasn’t able to be there to support Mike (or chris cause he was sat on his own too) and I felt very uncomfortable not only cause I was the most emotional there (It just who I am) but because I was sat sobbing inbetween two strangers. 

Then at the actual burial I couldn’t have felt less like family.  I know that this kinda thing isn’t the important bit, but It really is on a personal level, you know? 

Just as I stopped crying, I saw the flowers at the side of the casket/grave, and I was glancing at the cards, there was one "from all the grandchildren", two off her sons and wives (Eric and Janet and Graham and Sandra) which were both a whole paragraph that filled the card, and then one off Mike’s grandad, that just read "Good Night, God Bless, Bill x x" and that set me off all over again.  The shortest, simplest message was the most touching one there. 

We was told to walk to the wake, but my feet were dying in the shoes I was wearing, so we bummed a lift.  The wake went great until Eric decided to fly his true colours by being a tosser to Mike.  Eric is Mike’s adoptive Dad, and has always called him dad.  He used to be a nasty bully, and Mike was in therapy for years, before Eric took an overdose, survived and changed into a much nicer person.  Now, I don’t like Eric, partly because of history, and partly because I just don’t.  He’s nice to me but never sounds sincere.  You know those type of people? Eesh.  But anyway, he was really nasty and belittling to Mike and it shocked me. I’m glad it did or I think I’d have said something and there was not the time or the place. But it made me see what he was like those years ago. 

The cheeky bastard even called Mike’s Mum the next day and said, "Is Mike alright? He was really quiet." 1.  He’s always quiet, especially in social situations with family.  2. His grandma is freaking dead.  what do you expect a party? You was the one who told him he didn’t know how to be respectful for absolutely no god damn reason. 3.  You was nasty to him. 4. He lives with me, he rarely see’s Bev, and alls its been is family politics recently. 5.  ASK ME, IF YOU ACTUALLY CARE.  RAAGGHH!

Bev is a whole other story here, she wanted to come to the funeral, but decided not to because of Janet (Erics wife) and Then spent a week complaining about it, and she asked if she could leave flowers at the grave and Eric said that Connie didn’t like waste and so to take them in a couple of weeks when the others have died (I happen to think this is sensible and reasonable.  Bev however didnt.)

SICK OF POLITICS!

Bill is doing okay.  He’s upset (obviously) but he’s dealing okay.  He sounded a little embarrassed when he said he wasn’t taking Connies name off Mike’s birthday card, because as far as he was concerned she was still here.  I totally agree, and I think there is much worse ways of dealing with it.  He still talks to her, and I think its sweet.  He knows she’s gone, but believes (like me) that she can stil hear him.  Unfortunately Eric feels differently and is under the impression that Bill is going loony.  I wish people wouldn’t be so freaking judgemental. If thats the worst I do when Mike dies, I think I’d have done beyond well.

Hehe, his grandad likes me.  He always calls me gorgeous and gets as many hugs and kisses as he thinks he can get away with.  At the funeral, he was keeping track, and as I gave him a kiss goodbye, he was quite proud of the fact that that was his 14th kiss off me that day.

We’re going round this week sometime and I’m going to cook him dinner.  (don’t know what yet, but it’ll be something traditional).  Hehe, at the funeral, Graham their olde

st son, got up to do a speech and got the date of their wedding wrong, when Bill corrected him, Graham asked if he was sure, to which Bill replied "well I was bloody there".  Haha, Bill is awesome.

I do have other stuff to talk about such as implants and E-readers, but they can wait til tomorrow, since i’m so tired. 

Comment me, good people of OD, and I hope that you are all well and having a good day. 🙂

Emmy x