Rules for Corporate Survival

Yet another interactive thing I put up on Facebook.  Spawned by a frustrating day at the office. Feel free to add and credit will be given:

Rules for Corporate Survival

1. Never assume any form of responsibility.

2. The subject line of an email is sufficient enough information to craft a response, no matter how complex the email was.

3. When asked a direct question, give a vague answer.

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4. Direct all questions that require an immediate answer to the suggestion box located in the c.e.o’s office. (NC)

5. Push decisions off to those above you. Delegate all actions to those below you. (DD)

6. Any and all food on the breakroom table is fair game.

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7. No matter how busy your co-worker is, they always have time for one more cat/dog/child/drunken/television story.

8. If you see someone smoking.. or standing next to the water cooler.. It’s break time. Even if you just finished break. (RG)

9. Take what you learned in 2nd grade about rounding numbers, and apply it to the time clock. (DD)

10. Use Bailey’s as a substitute for coffee creamer whenever possible.

11. ‎"Are you busy?" isn’t really a question. It’s a statement which means "I’m more important than what your doing." (DD)

12. An emergency on your part does not necessarily create an emergency on mine.