Bye, Bye Beautiful… Don’t Bother To Write…

Sometimes, you meet people who mean more to you than you could ever have expected.  People that, as it turns out, make your life feel like it’s something worth living.

Yesterday, they were all within arms reach.  All 5 or 6 of them.  And today, one is a 40 minute drive away, and the others are all driving further away.  For two months, I won’t be able to smile and have them smile back, or to say something ridiculous and have them laugh with me.

I won’t be able to reach over when we’re walking down the hall and grab their hands.  I won’t be able to hear "Sweet Caroline" and look straight at Sarah and watch her wave her arms at us all.  I won’t be able to look at Cindy and smile and say "jump on it!" and know she’ll start dancing.  I won’t be able to turn and look at Cecile and say "panties" and have her cringe and glare at me and give me the finger and then just laugh.  I won’t be able to say, "hey, Jenna, what’s your favourite word?" and have her look at me with a completely straight face and reply "gaylord" and have all of us start laughing like mad.  I won’t be able to laugh at Vanessa’s naiveity about her relationship with her boyfriend and I won’t be able to be cleavage pals with Tabitha.

At the bar last night, we drank and we smiled and we laughed, and then Cindy and I had to leave.  And then there was a song that broke our hearts.  And we were on the dance floor, hugging goodbye and I was trying not to start crying like a child, but I hugged Sarah and turned around, and there was Cecile, standing there, sobbing.

And I looked at her and I was done for, just done, and I couldn’t do anything except cry and hold onto her.  And then Jenna was drunk and not crying, but I hugged her and went to leave and she grabbed my hand and she just wouldn’t let it go.  And that made us all cry harder.

Then Cindy and I went and got our coats and went home.  And we were separated, and it sucks, and I want to cry.  Again.

And James won’t go the fuck away and leave me alone to just cry and scream, he just keeps TALKING and I just keep answering in short sentences like I’m tired and angry and I am, and he won’t go away.

– a favor house atlantic – coheed and cambria –