Woot Woot!!

Weigh in was this morning…I was really looking forward to it and dreading it all at the same time. It was a mad rush to get ready and out the door this morning. I thought the meeting started at 9 and we had mommy group at 10, so there seemed to be more than the usual prep needed…plus I had to wash and dry my hair…boo. (I’m missing my long hair again…a pony tail is soooo much easier than drying it with a round brush.) We headed out the door at 9, but loving the small town living, it is only a 2 minute drive to the church where WW takes place. I was a little worried when we pulled up – there were only 2 or 3 cars in the lot. So, I went in got right onto the scale which was a bonus…I hate waiting in line, especially holding the bucket.

The scale is a very scary place for me. At some point in each attempt at WW and my stint at LA Weight loss, there has come a point where the leaders dont let me look at the number on the scale because I get so focused on the number. So, looking at the scale display this morning felt a little…wrong and I realized after that I was holding my breath. I kind of expected the lady at the scale to shield the display from me. She did not. My hard work and committment over the last 6 days paid off!!! I lost 8 pounds in my first week at WW! I am ecstatic! What a great start! I know weight comes off faster in the first couple of weeks and will slow down, so Im not expecting a number like that again. But, it did remind me that following the program as it is meant to be followed does get results – it works.

I have been on WW so many times in my lifetime. Lets see….1st time was in Grade 4 – my mom does not remember that and refuses to aknowledge that she put me on it that young, but she did. The next time I did WW was in grade 7 summer going into grade 8 – I lost something like 50 lbs that summer – that was after being on Nutri System in grade 5 & 6. After Grade 8, I think I went back in grade 9 for a bit – maybe grade 10. I remember my mom picking me up for lunch on Tuesdays and taking me to weigh in. That time extended into grade 11. I dont remember dieting at all during my college years – it would have been hard to count all of the liquid points during that time in my life (there was a buck a beer night each night of the week at different bars.) The next time I went on WW was when I started my first real job at the Canadian Inn – my boss was on plan and I was kind of forced into being on it too. I think that time wa short lived – I started dating an Italian guy and the food his mother cooked…yumm-e – impossible to calculate the points in Josies cooking! I joined again when I moved to Banff and a meeting started up in Canmore for the first time. That time was really successful – there was lots of support as there were 30 of us from the Banff Springs that went to the Canmore meeting together. But, my depression got really bad towards the last months I was living there and developped binge eating disorder. Dieting was off limits while I was in therapy for that. I joined again when I was at the Hyatt and went with Serena. She was competative…I stopped going after a few weeks. Finally, the last time, before this time, was before my wedding and I joined on-line. I lost 30 lbs from January to March and got cocky thinking that I could be a little less strict and could drop anything I gained before the wedding in July. I ended up having to get my dress let out. So, I have travelled a long road with WW – there have been some great successes along the way and some disappointing failures.

There is something so different about it this time…something in me is saying that this is it. This.Is.It. Im keeping my expectations low but working on keeping my motivation high. And what better motivation than my little boy who, before I know it, I will have to chase around and play actively with…there is no way I could do that at my current weight.

I have also come to the realization this time that it is nice to have the support of others but that does not determine if I will be successful or not.  I wasnt going to tell my mom that I was on it again because typically the reaction she gives me to this type of thing makes me immediately decide that its not worth it, that I am not worth it. But this time, I thought, fuck that, it doesnt mattter if shes excited for me, if she thinks I can do it or not. All that matters is that I think I can do it. That is powerful stuff! Ive also realized that it can be just as easy to do this as a married person as it was when I was a single person. I thought it would be so hard to cook and measure my meals while looking after Robs meals too, but the lightbulb went off that if Rob doesnt like what Ive cooked or is irritated that Im measuring my food so exactly then that is his problem not mine. (Why I thought that measuring my food in front of him would irriate him I am not sure – haha)

Rob has been really supportive this past week and I appreciate it so much. If it should wane as time goes on, that is fine too. Its only about me. I am the only one who can do this and make it a success.

On another note, before I wrap this up, I have never really written in here for an audience. If I got notes on an entry great, if not also fine. I had no idea though, how powerful it is to have the feedback and comments from those who do stop by to read. So for those of you who have read me and commented at some point in time, I just want to thank-you. It is amazing how high the words of complete strangers can carry me! What a great gift OD has given me!!!

Oh and…there were only 2 cars in the parking lot this morning because the meeting didnt actually start until 9:45. I had to leave because of Mommy group at 10. I am going to catch the meeting tonight. Its about breakfast!