Taxes and Sickness

I came back to work at noon today. Not really because I’m feeling well again, but more because I had cabin fever and couldn’t lay in bed anymore. My back…actually my whole body is aching from this bug and all the time I’ve spent in bed this week. If only there was money in my bank account for a massage, but there’s not. So, I’ll just let that wish go.

It’s hot in the office. The HVAC system is down. I swear it must be 29 or 30 degrees in here. Top that with a low grade fever and I’m sweaty mcsweaterson. I only had a shower 6 hours ago and I need another one asap. I’m aggrivated. Being sick like this only makes my mental health worse. I’m really struggling….really struggling….

I received a registered letter from the Canada Revenue Agency today. I have 30 days to file my 2007 taxes. I went on line today to get the forms and I’m so completely overwhelmed – like why is there not a document called "how to file taxes"? I’ve never done my own taxes. My dad always paid someone to do them for me. Now I’m 32 and feel totally incompetent.

I feel this entry rolling all over the place. I told Rob I wanted to leave today. He misunderstood and thought I meant because I was sick and wanted my mom to look after me. No…I meant for good. There I wrote it. I’ve admitted it. 8 months into my marriage and I want to throw in the towel. I don’t know how to be half of a whole. I don’t know how to balance the wants and needs of another person with my own. He says I should ask for help when I need it. I say it’s fucking common  sense to knw that when your wife is sick you should wash your own fucking dinner dishes. When your wife is barfing and crying and sick…DO SOMETHING. Don’t just get high and make jokes. I’m not happy. I don’t know what happy even looks like. 

I hope this is just coming out right now because I’m not feeling well. I’ve eaten almost nothing in 3 days – I get cranky on a normal day when I don’t eat….

I feel so alone. I have no one to talk to about any of this…well not until Tuesday when I see the psycologist again. I can’t talk to my mom. I can’t talk to my sister in law. I have no close friends to talk to anymore – I pushed them all away. I don’t know what to do.

I can’t even get all the thoughts and words out here…I’m so jumbled. I’m so sad.

 

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Awwww hun … I feel for you. I could have written most of this entry. Call Revenue Canada and tell them you need an extension. And then get someone to do your taxes for you. Look in the paper for some cheap tax preparer (I’ve found them here for as low as $25). Take a deep breath. Make sure you keep up with your fluids including those with vitamin C. The calories will help you too to keep you from feeling ++cranky. And get yourself some sunshine! I’m here for you ~ if you want to talk you can email me and we can chat online.

March 26, 2009

*hug* i hope you feel better soon!

March 26, 2009

Oh man. I’m sorry you are feeling like this. Do you think marriage counseling would help? Big hugs,

sorry your husband isn’t being supportive 🙁

March 27, 2009

thank you for your note. and, i wish i had some really wise thing to say or at the very least something really hilarious to crack you up. good luck with all this. perhaps when this nasty bug passes you’ll feel better equipped to handle the other stuff. be patient with yourself. *HUGS*

March 27, 2009

Oh jeez.. I’m sorry you’re feeling so crappy. You’re definitely right about not having to tell your husband to do his own dishes when you’re sick- he just know these things. He should be doing his own dishes all the time for that matter! The good thing about OD is that you can always come here and write out your feelings and frustrations and get supportive feedback from all of us. I understandthough that it’s not the same as having someone around you that you can talk to – I have the same problem. hug. ryn: When you had a gallstone, what kinds of symptoms were you having before it was removed?