Jan 5 and I’m still alive!

Ugh Monday. You are the friend that no one wants. The irritating roommate that you hate living with, but you need to tick around do you can pay the bills. Monday, you’re as certain as death and taxes – so that makes 3 certainties in life.

Why is it that as soon as I decide to really watch what I eat, I get consumed by it. It’s like as soon as a morsel hits my mouth I’m like a crack addict wanting more. Ok…it’s only the first day. It takes 4 weeks to make something a habit…give it time.

So far today I’ve had:

 

Breakfast:

½ C FF Plain Yogurt

1 C Mixed Frozen Berries

1 pack of Splenda

1 Med Coffee with Milk

 + Meal Time Vitamins

 

AM “Snack”

Japanese Pear Apple

 

Lunch

Green Salad with Olive Oil and Roasted Garlic Dressing

Beaver Buzz Energy Drink – Sugar Free, Calorie Free (non aspartame sweetener)

 

PM “Snack”

1 pkg Campbell’s Gardennay Mushroom Soup

1 Tomato

+ Meal Time Vitamins

 

Water – One (the day’s not over yet – I can pack away like 9 cups tonight before bed)

 

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt”>The work day’s not over yet – I still have Cheese and 2 Ryvita’s – I think I’ll have those before I go over to Safeway after work to get dinner. I don’t want to go over there hungry. God this makes me anxious (I think that’s the feeling anyway).

 

I tried having a conversation with Rob about this last night and how serious this is for me – not just for weight, but for my long term health and I was greeted with a loud fart and her burst out laughing. I layed in bed beside him for like 5 minutes trying to get out the words to express what I need for myself, for my health, for us and he responded that way! Ass. I thought about writing an e-mail getting it all out, but it occurred to me, if the crying he’s seen from me over and over isn’t enough to get it, he’ll never get it. I know it’s not fair of me to ask him to follow along with me, but he needs it just as much as I do. I married my husband for life…not for a few years until one of us has a heart attack. I don’t care about his actual weight…that’s not it…I just know how much better he would feel from being healthy – his back would ach less, his asthma would improve, he’d have more energy, so that when we do have kids we can handle it. He knows all of this. I can only change myself, so that is what I will do, and if it does take us shopping and cooking separately then so be it. But, I’m pretty sure that would not be a good turn in our marriage. (and that’s a whole other entry)

This weekend was quiet which was nice for a change. I had the best chiro adjustment on Saturday morning – my neck cracked like raw noodles – it was awesome – my headache and neck ache of the previous few days went away and I felt like an owl I could look so far behind me over each shoulder. After that appointment we went and got a Starbucks and Subway and went home to chill out. After watching “Pimp My Ride” (where the dude drove a bread truck) I got cracking on cleaning. Rob went over to Tim’s for the afternoon which was a.ok. with me…I hate it when he’s home and I’m on a mission. Sadly, I didn’t get very far in the 6 and a half hours that I cleaned – in that time I only got our bedroom done. 2 hours of that was putting away laundry, unpacking from Kamloops and sorting the dirty laundry into loads (15 in total!). The rest of the time I went through old clothes, rearranged our closet, cleaned out my “products” drawer and got rid of all the lotion, bath stuff, lip gloss, (you name it) that was empty, almost empty or that I never use. I cleaned out my bedside table and took away a small garbage bag from just there – who knew 2 drawers could hold that much! I vacuumed and then when Rob got home we did a little rearranging of the furniture and added a chair to the corner of the room. I can’t wait to get a bulb for the lamp on the dresser so I can use that little corner as a reading/writing nook. After all of that Rob ran out to get us Vietnamese and we spent the rest of the night watching COPS in the computer room. The rest of the house is still a shit pile,  but if I can tidy a bit tonight to make it through the week I’ll pick another room for this weekend to deep clean and organize. We just have so much “stuff” – I’d like to toss it all and start from scratch. I was pretty good about chucking though… I can’t stand opening my drawers and they’re filled with everything from junk mail to lip gloss. So in our room, everything has a place (well except for the 1 bag of our Christmas Gifts that I have nowhere to put them – they’ll stay in the closet until I figure out somewhere to put them/store them).

Rob’s mom called Saturday night to make sure we were still coming out there for dinner on Sunday. I was quite surprised because I thought she had decided to cancel. But, no…we drove the almost 2 hours out there yesterday morning – had a nice lite lunch and dinner around 6 and then headed back to the city at 7. It was a little awkward being at his parents house given that I only met his dad for the first time yesterday (he wasn’t able to make it to the wedding) and I have only met him mom twice – once at a dog show nearly 3 years ago and at our wedding. They have dogs – lots of dogs. And wow…are they in LOVE with their dogs. When I asked Rob what we were going to talk about all afternoon, he said if all else fails talk about the dogs. Well…we talked about the dogs for 6 damn hours! I was kind of sad that when Rob went to get a photo album to show me some pics of when he was a kid, he had to go down to the 100 year old basement, crawl around under the stairs and pull out 2 dusty, musty albums that we had to dust before we could look through them. It’s sad because, in the dining room there is a whole wall of built in shelving with all kinds of albums on them. They’re all albums of the dogs. His mom couldn’t even tell him where his baby pictures were in the house…he had to guess. I love my husband…I really need to start being nicer to him…he doesn’t deserve any more bullshit in his life with women. I think his mom and previous “lady friends” have worked him over enough.

Well it’s almost quitting time – it’s crackers and cheese time.