05/25/2009

MAN its been awhile since I have been on here! I have been going through so many different feelings recently and just an abundance of excitement… Rather it has been good or bad company I dunno justt sooo much… Ok well here I go! IN the past 2 years I have been at the same Job 😛 That is def a good thing and also alot of changes there we have gone through at least 30 people in different positions… Either they were getting fired or just quit but to me that means that was that many people comming in and out of my life! Cause seriously to me MY work is also where I do all of my socializing so you tend to get close to the people that you work with! Well at least I do! So anyways i think that has played a role on me! Plus i am seperated from my husband who I have no intentions in getting back together with… we have not filed for a DIVO cause MONEY!… Well at least that is my reason! Sooooo he has also been with his girl for over a year!…… I was in a serious relationship with this guy named Jeff! We didnt make it to our YEAR! For me this was incredibley sad! I LVOED him and sadly but honestly i still have theese rediculous feelings for him! That i know i should not have but you know you cant make your self feel a certain way!

Ok so now the whole bestfriend thing… Wendy… I love her to death but she does not have the ability to have a healthy relationship with anyone… Even me who forgives her without her even asking me to! Now I am not perfect I know this trust me i know i am far from it…. But she takes everything to an extremem but just like we have always said we will still always stay the BEST Of Friends…. Just a little blood on the way…. Speaking of Blood let me get onto the subject of GOD! the one who i keep turnning my back on…. the ONE who will ever only be the only ONE that willl allways be there for me! I am so ashammed of myself and the way i have let my self turn this life that he gave me into what i have! PLUS i have soooo def not been the mom i have needed to be!

Whewww,,,,,,,, and thats just getting started! I keep staying up late when i have to get up early in the morning and its tarring me down so I will have to finish this tomorrow night!

Hopefully i work out tomorrow! WILL POWER KICK IN PLEASE!

Christine Elizabeth… The recovering Procrastinator! and soon to be a BETTER Mommy! and most importantly CLOSER TO GOD!

Ok well i went ahead and reposted what i wrote last cause i realized you cant read it so anyways…. Let me continue… today was one heck of a day (truck day) Work was sooooo much fun… can you hear the sarcasm But I did get to do the medicine today… and i do have to say it makes me feel more accomplished when i get to oder and put away the meds…. Kinda makes me feel a lil important and that i actually have tasks that neeed to be done, that only I can do. But then my bubble was bursted, so you know the whole drama thing with wendy the so called best friend well she is the one who got me on to IGA (where i work) and when i started there she was a shift manager and i was put on as a cashier well about 4-5 months go by and i got promoted to shift manager too… so this was def a hard thing for wendy to handle… she couldnt stand the fact that i moved up into mangement as fast as i did… Sooooo a year and a half goes by she gets pregnant takes on a new task at work (the meds) for about a month and a half… then she goes on materninty leave and now about 7 months later she wants to come back well for the past month I have taken over all the meds and have a set schedule soooo she said to me that she is only comming back if she gets certain days that just so happen to be my days and she wants the meds back… Well i was playing with her and I said no way they are mine now… and i laughed, she took it seriously and said she will get them back and that if it wasnt for her that I would not have that Job and that she knows that having the med dept makes me feel better about myself but she said she wants it back period!

OMGosh i seriously wanted to tell her to go F*@k herself but since i am so reserved in telling people how i feel and I always feel obligated to her feelings and I am such a Darn GOOOD friend, nice person! I didnt say anything about it, but then added of course that would be a good schedule for you…… Errrr…. I am so freakin frustrated about sooo much with her!

So my birthday is next week and me and her are suppose to ride to orlando for the day and I am seriously wishing it was with someone else! And And and how about I have pretty much stopped dating cause of her! Cause if i meet them online then she automaticly doesnt like them and if i meet a guy thorough a friend she says thats not a great Idea and every guy its the same thing there is always something wrong with them and she has to talk bad about every guy i want to talk to!

Man i am frustrated and alone cause I dont have a guy or a girl to talk tooo… Oh well i guess… One day things will all be better (i have to keep telling myself that)

So how about I cant decide what to go to school for!

Photography my passion and hobby

Paralegal is what my Aptitude test said to do!

Plus i love Legal issues… and i have work for a law office before and loved every minute of it!

and BTW i am lonley I really want that close companionship!

OMGosh the movie Fireproof is soooooo awesome… (tear…)

G’night

Christine Elizabeth