A touch of everything

• Last Saturday, we decided to go stop in at my Grandpa’s before going to my cousin’s party (other side of family). I thought he seemed pretty great, he looked a little rough llike he had gone thru some hardship, which he did. But he seemed good. He has always been such a happy spirited person (my brother was the lucky one and got that trait). He had 2 balls by him, they’re kinda tough, kinda soft. They are for him to squeeze, workout his hands/wrists. Bruce of course points "ball". Grandpa didn’t mind and let Bruce play with them. He ended up playing catch. Roger got it on video and it’s on my FB wall. Bruce is a person that he needs to warm up to you first. This was the first time that he had anything to do with Grandpa.

We went to my cousin’s party. I didn’t really care to go but felt like we probably should. It’s a cousin that I just, I don’t know, don’t go running to when they get to the Lake. My other two cousins that I run to, run to us and him. A little backstory maybe. He is 8 years older. It seemed his family didn’t go to the cabin much. His parents owned a motel. My cousins someone have done a lot with him outside of the cabin. My brother and I did not. About 10 years ago, they sold their motel and actually bought my other aunt/uncle’s house, which is at the cabin. They had torn down their icky cabin on the lake and built a new one. So that’s my cousin’s cabin. He and his family got just about every weekend. We do lots with him and his wife and my other cousins. A few years ago caused some awkwardness though. It was my one cousin’s bachelorette party. I was healing for a D&C I just had 2 days earlier from my 2nd miscarriage. This wife, I find out is pregnant. Great, but when going thru that, it just hit me like a ton of bricks. Then I hear what her due date was, the EXACT same day I WAS due! Bam, that hurt. I had a hard time seeing her throughout the summer, her belly progressing. I didn’t want to hear about any of it. I was this way with anyone. I also had a coworker who was pg, I didn’t go to the shower, but did send a gift. To this day it still affects our relationship. He did email me about it 2 years ago. I had to explain myself. I stated it wasn’t meant to be personally against them, it was just a hard time I was going thru and blah blah blah. I want to be part of their lives and their daughter’s.

Anywho, we went to the party, it was an ok time. It was kind of funny though, Bruce really liked on of my cousin’s friends. He was very good though. He totally interacted with Bruce. He brought over his youngest son’s Thomas the Train bag (who Bruce knows) and pulled out trucks. Later on did the chalk on the driveway with him.

My poor brother, he makes every baby cry! Every time too! He can’t hold Bruce. Bruce never really liked other people holding him. Finally Roger says to my brother, "well you take the baby and run, I’d be scared too!" At the party, he tried again. I said "you need to bribe him". I tried giving him his juice but it was too late. So when he really liked my cousin’s friend, it was kinda funny. But I said to my brother, "he bribed him with a toy, the chalk". Like at my Grandpa’s. It was the balls. He doesn’t neccarily want us holding him all the time either. He comes to us when he wants to be held. We just need to interact (which I should get done with this entry already). He wants to go-go-go. My brother though, always would hold Bruce, he’d start crying, and he’d go away. Which kind of upset me. Give me my upset baby back! My brother looks at it like "you have to make him get used to it". Yes he does have 2 kids.

Well I smell a stinker so I better go save that butt!