Paranoid

Ok most of you know that I had 2 miscarriages before having Bruce. Of course the first half of being pregnant with him I was worried about losing him. When the 20w u/s happened and we found out he was a boy, that got rid of my worry.

Then towards the end, for some reason, it’d enter my mine a few times, what if he’s stillborn. Each week passed and I was happy to be one week closer to his due date. When I hit 30w, I was feeling better, cause if he had to be born, he should be ok. Lots of people, whether it was on thebump were I frequent the Birth Month Board or on Facebook, were having their July babies in May! Yipes. Luckily he was close to his due date, just 3 days early.

Now, I haven’t been too worried about it but the stupid BirthMonthBoard gets me worried at times about SIDS. Now today someone linked a post from a different board from someone who just lost their 7 month old to SIDS. The thing is she was checking on him like every 3-4 hours. So WTH??? My heart breaks for her. I just can’t shake that feeling. With Bruce sleeping thru the night, he’s not being checked on til he wakes up.

Right now I feel the need to do three things. 1.) go in his room since I just remembered I didn’t turn the ceiling fan on. 2.) make myself a drink, maybe relax. 3.) stop going on thebump