I guess I thought you’d be here forever

Another illusion I chose to create, don’t know whatcha got until it’s gone…

I had a wondemous weekend. Well mostly wondemous.

I believe I already wrote about Friday. Saturday was Tosh’s birthday. He called me and I wished him a happy birthday and we made plans to go hang out with Marley for the nite. He came and picked me up around like 3.30 and we drove down to Triple Ripple. The roads that we take down there are all back roads so he drove and I sat in the backseat. Once we got down there we drove to Meijer, Marley works there and we needed to figure out what we were going to have for dinner.

We ended up getting stuff for spaghetti and meatballs, then waited for Marley to get out. We got back to his house and his wife and kids were at her mom’s house. He had to go pick them up and that was kinda shitty, she was only like a block away and refused to walk back. Then she wouldn’t ask her mom if she’d watch the boys so we could have adult time. So Marley was kinda pissed off about that, and really it was shitty of her, but she’s a cunt. Marley was really happy to see me and actually hugged me, he hasn’t done that in a long time because she’s always there and I won’t hug him in front of her. She’s like that and I don’t want to cause problems. I guess back when they were just dating and Tosh had his own apartment she would kick Marley out for weeks at a time so she could fuck someone else and every time Marley would go back. I don’t get that. If someone doesn’t make you happy at least 90% of the time, why be with them? Doesn’t make sense.

Anywhore, the boys were stuck with us and it wasn’t a big deal because they’re not bad kids. His wife was supposed to leave the house at like 7, but her ride never showed up and never called her to say that they weren’t coming. Then her cousins stopped over. Oy vey! The dude was drinking a 40 in a paper bag and the chick had a cut on her nose from where some guy punched her in the face a few days before. Apparently the guy used to be a meth head and was for like 10 years and now he’s just a fucking drunk. Oh and guess who was driving? Not the sober girl, because she doesn’t drive. No the fucker with the bottle in his hand was driving and guess where he was headed after he left Marley’s, yep, the bar. I was highly annoyed and bothered by that, but who am I to say something to people I don’t know. Well, they went out back with the boys to smoke and I’m stuck with Marley’s wife. I don’t really know her that well, and we’re only acquaintances because she’s married to him. She asked me if I had kids and I told her no, that I had step kids. I mentioned that I was still waiting for the paperwork so I could have my name back and she tells me “oh, I got some. I went and got them a couple of weeks ago when Marley and I were having problems. They’re under my mattress.” I was like ok? All I could say was “nice”. I mean what do I say to that? I don’t really know this woman but I know that Marley loves her to death for some ungodly reason. I didn’t say anything to him about it but I told Tosh. He was kinda flabbergasted and then he was like “what a fuckin cunt”. Yep, pretty much.

She finally left around like 8.30 and then it was me and the boys. Tosh made meatballs (I love a man that can cook) and Marley made the spaghetti. It turned out well and we sat at the table just talking and eating. Good times. 🙂 Then they started playing and fighting and all the funny shit that goes along with it. Marley wanted me to video them so he could put it on their fanpage on Facebook. Lmfao. So I videoed and they played. We finally left at like 1.45, we didn’t get back here until almost 2.30. I ended up falling down the stairs and after he made sure I was ok, he called me an idiot. Lmfao.

We were both very tired but it was his birthday so I had to give him his non refundable or exchangeable present. Lol. We didn’t end up going to sleep until like 4.

I kept waking up, my knee was bothering me and my best friend who’s up from LA was supposed to come see me. I was worried I was going to miss her call and so I didn’t sleep well. I will sleep like the dead tonite. 🙂 Sleeping with Tosh is strange because he’s either very cuddly or doesn’t touch me at all. It was a cuddly nite, not that I’m complaining at all. He’s strange because when he wakes up he’s awake. Like no sleepy voice or anything, he’s just wake and he talks to me. It freaks me out because I don’t even know he’s awake until he talks. He left around noon and Jess was supposed to have been here at like 11. She didn’t get to meet him like she wanted to, but not much I can do about that.

She tells me I’m so transparent about him and that she knows I love him. I refuse to admit it. Leave me alone. Lol.

Milton called me today. It’s the second Milton call in a week. I was amazed that he was calling. I guess his family was out of the house for the day and he just wanted to talk. Then he started getting naughty with me. And I was weak and gave in. *sigh* I still fucking miss him. Gods how I miss him. At this point I don’t think that I’d trade a Tosh for a Milton, but I’m not sure. How horrible is that? Stupid f’n Milton. But Jeezuz did I miss him. He’s not happy with his wife at all and all they do is fight. *sigh* It could’ve been me, but he was stupid. He even now admits that he was stupid. How fuct is that? Stupid g’d Milton.

The worst part is that when I talk to him it’s almost as if no time has passed and we’re both who we were 6 years ago, but I know we aren’t.

I want things with Tosh and I to work out, so if I have to give up Milton, I will.

Ugh, my uncle is drunk again. Go figure. He just came down here and started talking about money and blah blah blah. Boxed wine is never a good idea. *sigh* I’m glad that I didn’t have Tosh come back over tonite. That would’ve been bad.