if i were a horse someone would’ve shot me by now

my ass hurts

i had a very mellow and quiet NYE. it was nice. i ended up waking up at like 7.30a because i had a killer headache the nite before my uncle and his “son” were fighting all nite and i’ve kinda gotten used to not being stressed about anything and well, they fuct up my energy and i was feeling it hard core. by the time i took something for it, it was too late and i needed to either sleep or puke. i opted to go to bed.

so i laid down and listened to my meditation and that didn’t help. my mind was racing and i just couldn’t freakin sleep. i think i finally fell asleep around like 1.30a which isn’t bad for me at all.

thursday i was up at the ass crack of dawn with nothing to do. Tosh got online around like 11 and then he called me and we talked for a bit. but he didn’t want to come over, there’s absofuckinglutely nothing to do here. so i don’t blame him and the couch hurts his back if he sits on it too long.

anywhore, i ended up taking a nap because i knew we were going to be up late. Tosh came to get me at like 5ish and we went back to his rents house. his dad made pizza and we watched the Red Wings kick ass. made me very happy, but his Devils were losing badly and when that happens he usually gets pissy and wants to leave.

so we ended up coming back here and just watching TV. my uncle wasn’t here, he was out with one of his bitches and i wasn’t really worried about him coming home drunk because she’s the one that loves me and won’t allow him to be an asshole to me.

so we watched the ball drop and got all crazy over Dick Clark. oh my hell have you seen this man? they’ve got him all painted up orange with fake tanner and he just looks sad. like it’s depressing how sad he looks. and wow to listen to him talk. jeezuz pete’s christ someone just put him out of his misery. for cereal.

then he spent the nite, which he hasn’t been doing lately. he doesn’t like the fact that my room is right across the hallway from my uncle’s, but that problem is going to be fixed soon.

we just snugged and then this morning i was up at like fuckin 5.30a. i wondered the house for an hour. my knee was hurting and i was tossing and turning and i didn’t want to wake him up. cuz i’m sweet like that, unlike him who goes to the bathroom, slams the door and jumps back into bed.

at some point i woke up because he got up to go to the bathroom and there were people talking out in the living room, so when he came back to bed we snugged some more. my knee hurt, but i didn’t want to move. i love cuddle time. and i haven’t been getting it as much lately with his back bothering him. damnit all.

so finally at like 10.30 i couldn’t toss and turn anymore and he couldn’t sleep because the sun was too bright in the bedroom. that problem will soon be fixed as well, when i move down to the basement. he jumped up, got dressed and was like “i’m going home”. i don’t know why he’s got to jump up like that, but whatev. so i walked him out to get my hug and kiss.

then he complained all day about going home so early to sit around bored and alone. even though it’s boring here, he would rather be bored with me than anyone else. or so he says.

so really i didn’t think that i’d see him today, and it sucks when i don’t get to see him. i get all stupid and emo. fuckin sad is what that is. anywhore, he ended up coming over for a few hours. we watched Office Space, i fucking love that movie and we watched some of the Matrix. i figured he was going to spend the nite again, but he didn’t. but he did finally leave a pair of jammie pants here.

i gave him his birthday present today too. i wanted to get him tickets to this Bob Marley birthday tribute concert, and i mentioned it to my friend Tasha and the bitch goes and buys the tickets and sends them to me! it made me so happy and i almost cried. Tosh is ‘cited. i don’t think he really knew what to say, i mean other than thank you. and then he said “i hope you like reggae, this is going to be so fun”. lol, i told him i hated it and he laughed. thank you again Tasha! you’re the best.

have you ever just been really stupid around someone? like i swear to gods he gets to see all the stupid shit that happens to me and then tells me i’m cute. tonite i’m cooking and i go to shake the general’s sauce and the fuckin cap comes flying off and i get a splash of sauce across my face and all over the kitchen. of course i laugh, that’s just me. he’s laughing his ass off and i’m laughing so hard an i can’t even clean myself up. i ended up having it in my hair and having to change my shirt. i think that tops the nite that i stuck the top of the hot sauce up my fucking nose at his parents dinner table. i wanted to die right there. then tonite as i’m getting ready to say goodbye to him, i take the dog out and fall and fall on the goddamn stairs. slid on my uncle shoe, Tosh calls them his petite feet shoes, and i bust my ass. luckily he didn’t get to witness that. he comes out and he’s like what are you doing? and i tell him and he’s “jeezuz O, what’s wrong with you tonite?” and all i could say is, it’s really not my day i guess. *sigh*