i think you beat me in my sleep

“ha, i don’t think so.” “but i have a bruise on my arm right here, see?”

The other day I was really pissed off at my family. Aunt Queenie called and asked me for Rollie’s phone number. When I asked her why she said she wanted to send the kids xmas presents. What do you need a phone number for when you have the address already? She got kinda snippy with me and I started getting all emo, so I told her the phone number and told her that I didn’t want to know anything about it. Then she told me that she already sent presents home for the kids with my grandrents. I told her to do whatever she wanted, but I didn’t want to know about it.

I don’t see why it’s so hard for my family to understand that Rollie won’t let me see the kids. He won’t let me have anything to do with them, why would he let them? Tosh and I talked about it a little bit and he said he understood. He said that he wouldn’t let his ex gf see his kids. I don’t think he realizes that I raised those kids for the last 5 years. Whatev.

Then I talk to Aunt Ren and she tells me that she called Rollie last week to ask about the kids. *sigh* He gave her this big sob story about the bank trying to repo stuff in the house and his new hot tub. I knew he was fucking that woman that owned the swimming pool place. Fucking dick. He tried to blame all our problems on me and said that we aren’t talking anymore because of my negativity towards the relationship. Um? What the fuck planet are you on dumb ass? Then he told her that he had to borrow 5k from his rents, I know they don’t have that kind of money, so again I call BULLSHIT. But hey, that’s just me. He also told her that he didn’t feel now was a good time for the family to see the kids and that they were confused enough as it is. What the fuck ever. Then at the end of the convo he even tried to cry. What a fucking douche bag.

Needless to say my dreams have been filled with him lately and that sucks.

Being sick also sucks because it means that I get no cuddle time and Tosh acts like I have the plague but he’ll still hang out with me. Lol. I woke up yesterday with a scratchy throat and I knew I was getting sick. Bleh. George is here and I’m sick. That sucks. So I’m vitamin C loading, drinking juice, taking meds and using Zicam.

I baked a crap load of cookies yesterday and I still have more to bake, but didn’t have the will to do it today. I made peanut butter with chocolate chips on top and white chocolate cranberry cookies. Tosh loves them. I think he made himself sick on them today. His dad said I’m not allowed to bring anymore over because he’ll eat them all and his mom told me to bring them, she’d hide them. Lmfao.

Tosh hasn’t been in the greatest of moods the last few days. It makes me sad that there’s nothing I can do about it. He misses his boys because it’s almost Christmas. The other day he and his dad got into a fight and his dad told him that he loved him because he was his son, but didn’t like him as a person. He also told him that he didn’t respect him because of his beliefs and lifestyle. When he got here that day his eyes were all bloodshot and I wasn’t sure if he’d been crying or just got really stoned. I think he’d been crying. It makes me feel bad, because I can’t do anything for him.

We rented The Hangover and Year 1 the other nite. Rent the first one, but not the second. Lol. The Hangover was awesome, but even though I love Jack Black the second movie sucked.

I shouldn’t stay up too late tonite. I feel kinda crappy. I hate being sick, at least it’s not next week because Christmas sucks as it is, being sick would only make it worse. I’m tired and I told Tosh I wouldn’t stay up too late tonite. I’ve needed a second nap for a few hours now. Lol.