Well, I suppose this is Christmas.

Well, I suppose this is Christmas.  O.o 

I spent six hours cooking today on Eve for Christmas Day.  I usually have to wake up early at eleven and finish up a few hours of cooking for our smorgasbord of foods… at least 20 full dishes this year, not counting fixings such as sausage and cheese and crackers and vegetable/fruit platters etc.  This Christmas it is our Christmas present as we have no money to spend.  None of my friends know how much money we don’t have, except for maybe my ex and my best friend, Jeana.  Maybe not even them. 

I’m starting to get weaned off of my anti-depressants.  I don’t know if that’s why I’m feeling really down right now.  This fucking sucks.  It’s been to the point where if I don’t take my medicine for one day, by nighttime I’m bawling over who the hell knows what.  But we don’t have the money to spend on that shit anymore.  I just gotta be fucking brave and deal with it, and save my parents extra expenses like that.  The longer I can stay dancing, the happier of a camper I will be! 

I used to help run a website called Worldwide Juggalos, but I can’t get ahold of the other homies that work on it- they live in Europe and I live in the US, so all we have is e-mail.  I don’t know what happened to them, but the site looks pretty sad.  The last time it’s been updated was September 12.  : / 

My Christmas vacation is staying at a friend’s house for two weeks.  I am going to chill out, get a lot of sleep, and be a female.  I will be alone the majority of the time and it will be the shit.  I need some time now that the Christmas season will be over.  Heh.  Christmas.  Heh heh. 

I ran into a Crip at Wal-Mart.  Almost beated the plumb fuck out of that piece of shit.  I have nothing against Crips, honestly, and they usually got no beef with me either, but they just rub me wrong.  They rub me way fucking wrong.  I found out Snoop was Crip and I almost cried- my idol’s a Crip… but shit ain’t changing.  I have no beef with Crips and I love Snoop Dogg. 

For Christmas I bought my brother some special Burt’s Bees soap because he smells frequently like poo.  I don’t understand why everyone always laughs when I tell them that.  Speaking of which… I gotta go make my boyfriend his Christmas present.  Lol.  Shit. 

Later homies… Pz!  And MCL.

Word up… Merry Christmas, too, happy holidays, fucknuts!