girl you wanna come to ma hotel
i have a very vivid dream that i wanted to write about.
last night i was at ST’s hotel. the new job he got…so we spent the night there. it was amazing. i shouldnt have gone. its now 1pm on saturday and my exam is on monday and i have a million things still to do. and i would get stuck into it now, but lo-and behold…MIGRAINE. so im gonna have to ignore my need to throw up and the pounding in my head…and keep battling on. but while im adjusting my head back to being in revision mode..the dream i had last night…was funny but weird.
given i hadnt planned to stay at the hotel last night, i didnt have any night clothes…so i ended up sleeping in my knickers. which i think had something to do with the dream…
it was about KK. we were at my old house, in my parent’s old bedroom…we were revising on the floor at the end of the bed. just sitting and chilling and laughing and revising..it was pretty relaxed. i have no idea how i looked, but i remember wearing loose fitted clothes.
in the midst of joking around i climbed on to the bed and got under the thick covers…i dont remember feeling cold in the dream though (but i must have actually been cold). anyway, he got in too but nothing changed…we were still revising, joking, being friends. at one point though, he was too friendly, and he put his arm under my body…just below my chest…(i think ST mustve been cuddling me in real life)..i sort’ve laughed it off and said "wtf K! i dont think so…"…i think i thought he was just messing around. then my phone rang and we decided to end the revision session. i think it must have been ST calling about meeting later, cos while KK was on his way out of the room, i was preoccupied with checking how i looked in the mirror. i looked AMAZING. my hair was in the perfect place. i had clear skin, bright eyes. i was slim. i was wearing a pair of grey skinnies, and a loose white vest top…no bra. all kinda made sense with the loose fitted clothes and the awkwardness i felt when KK put his arm around me…i was very conscious of him almost touching my boob..(as ST would have done while i was sleeping)..
as i emerged from what what was meant to be my room, the house phone rang. my mum called upstairs…"that was that KK boy that was just here…he said that he’s come to get you…he’s asked our permission if it would be ok if he was your boyfriend…but he’s waiting outside with his car to take you out". i must have looked bewildered cos she kinda looked at me like she realised i had no idea…then she said "aren’t you with ST?"…to which i replied "well yeah…since when did KK become interested? this is completely wrong?! what the hell am i supposed to do?"…
i left KK waiting. i went back into my room and started dialling for SK…she picked up and i was talking to her about the situation…what was i supposed to do? i didnt realise i had led him on…and how was i supposed to let him down? i was in love with ST?…
my dad had picked up the other phone and was listening. and that was when he butted in and tried to tell me that i should give KK a go…at which point i shouted at him to hang up. i continued to discuss with my friends and then i heard a cough through the radio?! my dad was STILL listening in…at which point i got up and went and shouted at him about how rude he was being, and that i had made my decision, and that ST was the one for me and always had been.
i woke up kinda confused…and a bit guilty that i had let KK so close…and that i had unknowingly led him on…i was so grateful for ST being there. and i kinda feel sorta awkward. next time i see KK…i will feel awkward…i know it was just a dream but yunno…weird.