broken hearted mountain

im in zurich. with him. but i think im returning without.

he doesnt love me any more.

i think ive pretty much given up on myself now.

there was a time when i decided that i was not a bad person. i am a bad person. and i deserve every bit of hurt i get.

i push people to the limit. i either care too little, and now too much.

he called me a fucking bitch and a 3 year old at the same time. because i had a migraine all day and threw up, more than 3 times, and looked to him for some saving.

boys and girls. let me teach you something:
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR.

he simply does not exist.

if a migraine ruins what you thought could be a romantic getaway for your anniversary, he will reach a point where he stops caring altogether, and will not hold your hair back when you throw up. he will sit in the bed and watch bbc.

and when you cry for the sorrow of your life, that your boyfriend cant be bothered to help you, he will tell you it is because he “has never been in this situation before to know what to do”.

i didnt realise caring for your other half came with instructions.

i am sick to death with the hypocrisy. sick sick sick. physically sick.

i dont know if i could take it any more.

buti stupidly foolishly love him.

and tonight my heart is broken in 2.

i give up. a robot he wants, so he will get. if he wants me to pick up after him and never show an emotion out of place, then fine.

i just need some idea of when i will get the man i fell in love with back.

he changed at some point, im still trying to figure out when that was. and i just cant.