now i can see through your eyes

have you ever watched your mums heart break?

let me rephrase that, have you ever seen your mother cry, and know the feeling shes feeling when she cries, and know that its because her heart just broke?

it keeps flashing in my head. i keep seeing it over and over. the moment my mums faith was ripped from her hands and my dad threw it to the ground.

she was scared. so scared. she was shaking when i finally saw her. but when she sat in my car she felt safer. and then when he stormed out the house screaming threats of divorce, and then he threw her God to the ground.

and she broke. she had been quiet. she had been careful. and suddenly she was no longer safe.

how do i get that image out of my head?

how do i stop myself from thinking about it so that it doesnt hurt. so that i dont feel the frustration. so that i dont feel the guilt that i cant do anything. that i cant save her. that im letting what happened to me is happening to mum. how do i stop everything?