It’s Sunny Again

So much thanks to my bestest for pimping my diary and finding me the perfect song to dance to for my first dance with my husband.  The youngest trashed my garden yesterday while I was out.  Yesterday my stepmom and my dad took me and Kim shopping woot.  We went to Kay’s and got jewelry for the wediding then we went and talked to the candle lady for the wedding then we went bra shopping for Kim then we went for my first dress fitting.  I know Kim I’m listing hehe but I’m allowed to here.  Oh yeah the the rents took us gambling.  We had a blast, the onlything missing was the bestest who chickened out and didn’t want to come to NY, hehe just kidding Meggers.  But it was awesome and we had a blast.  The whole wedding thing is finally coming together and it feels so real now.  I’m finally getting married, holy shit.  

So I had another of my bad feelings last night, the ones I get when I’m all alone or everyone is sleeping.  I don’t understand why I have such an irrational fear of dying.  It’s a strange feeling when it comes over me, almost like a panic attack, I’m assuming since I have never had one I don’t know what they feel like.  But I start thinking of what is going to happen to me when I die, I don’t believe in a god like other people do but I do believe there is something out there.  It is just strange.

Well thats enough for now I have a husband coming home and I still have some cleaning to do.

~Content~