My Eternal Prison

Just to let you know, I was like really cracked out and it was four in the morning when I wrote this so I apologize if it doesn’t make any sense but Megan is making me post this so there. Oh, and the two people in it can be anyone you can imagine but I did have two in mind when I wrote this and if you can tell me who (and Megan you don’t count) then I’ll give you something….maybe…hehe…

My Eternal Prison

I wasn’t always like this you now. This pathetic creature that I have become. I was once revered throughout my world. As a hero, perhaps, or a saviour. Not a very good one at that, but still. It was something that I clung to with all the feirceness of my heart. Perhaps that is why its ending was so painful. Yes, its ending. The bitter ending of my days atop that precarious pedestal, for good this time. Not like those times before when I meerly teetered on its edge. No, this time my fall was straight and unerring, to the bottom. There might have been a time once when I would have cared to save myself, if not for me then for my world. For the people who looked up to me, who relied on me, and those who even loved me. Once I would have cared. But not now, nor then either at that last breathless moment when the fate of a world hung in balance. I would like to say I at least mourned its passing even for a moment, but then I would be lying. I do not lie. There is no need to anymore.

Staring down at the distant world below, I find myself wondering what they would think if they knew who it is who stares down at their misery day in and day out. If they knew that it is the one who is supposed to be their hero who gazes down at them dully. I would welcome their hate, their scorn even their pity if they were to offer it to me. But my name has passed beyond their remembering now. A final torment from my jailor. The ignorance of those whom I betrayed. To be ignored when my crime was surely the worst one of all. Unbearable. They should storm my lonely prison, tear me from my room and unleash upon me all the pain and suffering that they have endured for countless generations. I would bathe in their pain if I would only be allowed to do so. He always laughs at my need for punishment. My jailor, my enemy, my life.

He comes now, even as I think of him, almost at my bidding. I hear his approach, up the long spiral stair to my solitary confinement. It is almost agony for me to remain where I am but I do. I will never give him the satisfaction of seeing how much I miss him when he is away. He knows anyway. It is inevitable that I long for his prescence, the only real thing that remains in my life. I strain my ears for the sound of the key turning in the lock. There, at last, almost as if he were waiting for me. I smile sadly as the door slides silently open and I feel the air from beyond the door that speaks of freedom and death. He closes it behind him softly and I let the smile fade from my face. There is a pressure in the air between us that I can almost taste. It fills my senses and tramples through my mind and I am left breathless. I feel his approach and stiffen as he pauses just behind me. His hand comes to rest on my shoulder not uncertain but familiar.

“Come away from the window.” He murmurs to me, his breath blowing sweetly against my hair. I want to obey his command but my mind rebels. I never did like taking orders from anyone.

“Let me go.” I whisper back, although there is no fire in my voice. There is almost nothing left of the confident, brash young hero I used to be. All that remaines is a pale empty shell that only remembers how to feel when he is here. Even now he only sighs into my hair and shakes his head.

“You will die.” He says matter of factly. There is almost a trace of amusement in his response. I shrug and lean away from him, against the glass which is not glass.

“Then let me die.” He pulls me back against him and I lay limply in his arms. My head rests beneath his chin and his arms are wrapped around me in a manner that is supposed to be comforting. I will never know that peace.

“You belong to me.” As if that is the answer to everything. I supppose that to him it is and to me it is enough. After all, who am I to argue with the one who holds the world in his sway. I am only a shadow of those older times when hope still lived. Now all is darkness and despair. I wonder that there was even a time for happiness.

No words are spoken now as he leads me back to the bed. I go far more willingly then should befit one who is captive. There is nothing left for me, not even death. He lays me down gently as if I dodn’t know what a monster he really is. I have seen the most horrible things in my dreams. Beyond nightmares, beyond any childish notion of fear, and I know that I will see them again this night and the night after. Another gift from him, my tormentor.

His lips slowly trace a path down my kneck and I feel as if I were aflame. His touch is like an itch at last scratched after hours and hours in agony from it. I move under him almost without conscious thought. Moans fall from my parted lips that echo in the room and deep within my soul. I feel his caresses more deeply than anything I have ever felt before. His mouth is all I know and his hands are my guiding lights.

At last he wrenches my clothing form me leaving me bare beneath his gaze. I strain towards him longing to feel his flesh pressed agianst mine, the sweetest sin in the world. He smiles at my impatience and I almost growl. I know it amuses him to see me thus at his mercy. Sometimes I think he must grow tired of having me under his power, but he never seems to falter in his joy of owning me. I am like a secret wine to him that he must come back to taste just to make sure it is still as delightful as he remembers. Thoughts are scattered as he captures my mouth in his and plunders me so thouroughly that I wonder how I ever survive without this…