Melting

Restlessness. 
Nights of sound sleep, but transient dreams. Tangential dreams. 

I was on a road, feeling at home. Held in the arms of a friend. 
Doing my best to channel my inner Jack Kerouac. 
‘Long is the road that leads me home.’ 

Except. 
Where is that? 
I don’t know if I’ve ever been sure. Nor am I sure that I ever will be. 

My mother is moving to Columbus – pursuing some kind of teenage fantasy of love. 
I wonder if my life was cursed from the start. How, if one is brought into the world devoid of love, do they ever find it. Truly. Simply. Honestly. 

And yet. I’m staring at it. 
The biggest heart I’ve ever known. 
And I am the monster. 
I am one quick to anger. 
Caged and frustrated. 
Sometimes. 

Spring though. It’s here. And I’ll melt. Thaw.