it.
is the aching inside my ribs a construction of society? of poetry? does my heart swell because poets claim that is should?
or is it the tremendous amounts of love that make my ribs expand from the overflowing of warmth that pulses through the organ that seeks refuge behind them?
i find secret things that you never intended to impress. that you did solely for yourself.
like underlining lines in your favorite book – that i picked up last week. "It would be far better for us if you were foul and ravening. We’d rather you drank their blood than stole their hearts."
the exact words I would underline. the same stories being told. our epic heroes and thoughts that have synced up. uncanny how the words flow off my lips and end as finished sentences on yours.
i often find myself in a waking dream.
there’s no way to say it except drowned in saccharine sentiments. beauty being heart-stopping and love being almost unbearable.
"But things that many see may have no taste or moment in them at all, and things that are shown only to one may be spears and water-sprouts of truth from the very depth of truth." your underlined words speaking to me again.
realizing i’d be in love with you no matter what time i met you.
we could have written stories together. read 16th century verse. played star wars in the back yard. no matter what age – there is an element of karmic happenstance – your life and mine.
we believe in nothing.
but as Keats said – love is my religion.
it’s strange how my life has so drastically changed. the desired effect of love.
we are told to want the fairy tale. little girls kissing frogs to find their perfect prince. we are told that there will be a disturbance in the universe and our hearts will quake and shake and we will find him at first sight.
and our story is so much better than a fairy tale. of stories of fate or mystical curses and potions.
this is reality. and this is better than i could have ever imagined.
being inside my mind is better than inside my heart – as it is a organ with a past full of legend and lore.
you command the brain. as it sleeps, dreams and consciously thinks of you.
constantly.
thus commanding the functioning of my entire body.
i’m still searching for ways to make the world understand how different this particular romantic endeavor is.
i can’t imagine feeling this incredibly overwhelmed daily by anyone else. the search that I thought would be perpetual is actually at its end.
there is no doubt.
terrifying as it may be.
this is, you are – it -whatever society or my "heart" or my head has deemed "it."
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that last paragraph … those are the hardest things. knowing that he is all; that he is it. and facing the daunting task of explaining that to someone. but the best things can’t be explained sometimes. and the science behind happiness and love is just a frugal attempt to make sense of something that does not have to make sense, ya know? it just is. it’s just so. it’s just true and honest and amazing and captivating. and as long as you know, as long as you can say these things and mean them and write them out so beautifully yet still feel as if there are a million things left to say, it is real and it is true and genuine and love. the bestest kind of love. 🙂 ryn: OMGGGGGGGGGGGG. idk! what should we do?! when do y’all think y’all’ll be there? anddddddd what part of scotland? and for how long? we could do whatever’s easier for y’all … <3 i’m so excited!
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Random noter: Wow… powerful stuff. Impressive, and very evocative. It really makes that feeling make sense even to those of us who haven’t been there yet.
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So so happy for you. So incredibly jealous of you. You deserve this happiness!!
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Love this. Beautiful. I started reading and couldn’t stop. Can I add? 🙂
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Only makes me wish I thought that love was a beautiful thing but alas it has been tainted for me.
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RYN: Added! 🙂
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ryn: it’s a surprise but not much beyond that, I honestly didn’t really know who he was aside from being a guy on the TV selling stuff
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It is sure hard to come by, I am happy though that you found it! And I posted a picture of my tattoo, its small but cute nonetheless!
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