Gone Forever

Everyone’s lives are filled with people who were important at one point, then became less and less influential, and at some point fell out of your life completely and you were pretty sure you might never see them again. I wonder why it is that when these people die, you become so sad. I guess the utter impossibility of ever speaking to them again, not even if you really want to, not even to run into them in the university halls by mistake, not even in some theoretical future class reunion… is just devastating.

this woman: http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/649274.html gave me my first chance when i was a student. listened to me when I was confused about first love even though it was never part of her formal job description, encouraged me in every turn I took and then disappeared into the past like so many other people do. I was just one of many students she was there for and while she had an exremely inportant influence on me at some point, was just one of many important people who came and went during the years.

And still.

I always used to think of her as some kind of reincarnation of biblical Job. So much crap happened to her and she survived it all and kept her smile. Divorce, death of son, daughter falling apart…. I wonder what will happen to the little kid she raised, her grandson. He’s 12, completely not fit for taking care of himself. I hope he will be okay.